Recently, I chanced upon this poem of his again (The Road Not Taken, as reflected below). As a mother, I thought long and hard about how I can convey this message to my children, how I should be imbuing in them the inspiration to do what they truly want, even if that would be unconventional and different from the others. I also thought about how this poem can inspire them not to be too easily influenced by peer pressure, especially with Big Bee embarking onto her tweenhood journey.
And most of all, I thought about what we should really be teaching our children in a stressful Singapore - to go with the flow of rigid studies based on rote-learning, or to listen to their hearts and excel in something they are good at? I guess the big question would be: Can we parents learn to accept the different roads our children may choose to take? How can we be sure that we will always be standing beside them, advocating them unconditionally, without putting any of our expectations on them?
These are tough questions as our children grow bigger, with more societal pressures on them. But I hope to be always inspired by my own mother, who had always advised me to follow my dreams and to pursue my passions. In an age when most parents preached professional degrees like Medicine and Law, I remember vividly the day that she told me to follow my heart when I was choosing between a law degree and a more broad-based communications and social sciences one. Most parents will nudge their children to a professional degree, but my own mother took a look at me and said, "I do not think a legal profession will be suitable for you, and I do not think you will be happy. Just choose what you are interested in." It was a bold and wise statement coming from a woman without much education, and it had remained indelible in my mind since then. And since then, I had never felt happier in my university journey and my various careers.
Will I be able to tell my children the same message when they come to the same crossroads?
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
1 comment:
What a great poem and I love how your mother encouraged you on the path towards your interest. That is rare indeed and i'm sure in future when your children asks for your advice, you will be able to provide them with the same wise insight.
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