And here's one of them taken 2 weeks ago, Big Bee at 6.5 years old and Little Bee reaching 2 years old in 3 months. See how much both of them had grown in a short span of just one year!
This evening, I was in somewhat of a bittersweet mood after reprimanding Big Bee for not proactively washing her hands. I told her sternly "You are a big girl now and will be in primary one next year. You cannot expect Mummy to always remind you to wash your hands after you dirtied them!" Big Bee nodded with a heartbreaking expression and uttered "Ok, ok" before breaking down in silent tears.
My heart was broken when I saw those tears. I hated myself then for being too harsh without knowing the limits. Though it is frustrating at times to always chase after the kids to do the "right" things, do we really want them to grow up so fast? Do we really want them to be fully independent and not rely on us to pamper them, wait on them? For once they reach an age of total independence and non-reliance, I am sure we will never cease to reminisce those times when they depended on us as the only trusted pillars of love and care, when we are the whole world to them.
Big Bee will always have a soft spot in my heart for being my first baby. Those long 4.5 years of bonding alone with her will always be indelible in my heart. Of course, I love Little Bee equally. They are both equivalent in my heart. But Big Bee remains the little girl whom Mummy and Papa love wholeheartedly and solitarily for 4 full years before Little Bee came along. I know she had adjusted to sharing our love with mei-mei now. But I know it is a difficult journey for her. Yet, sometimes, invariably, in the frantic assiduity of looking after a demanding toddler, we tend to forget that Big Bee still needs the kind of love so overflowing in her first 4 years.
A friend ever told me that she will stop at 2 children because her love is not enough for 3. She wants to shower all devotion to her 2 children. I know parental love is limitless. Yet, I cannot imagine sharing my love with more than my 2 darling Bees. Each of them deserves 200% of our love!
5 comments:
Hey i know exactly how you feel. Sometimes, the thought of them wanting to hang out with their friends more than their parents eventually, will bring a tear to my eyes.
viv: EXACTLY!!! We better appreciate every single day now..when they are still little and need our love. Soon, they will be independent, boohoo! Never mind, then we will hang out with each other more, haha.
Hi, thanks for visiting my girl's blog :)
You have 2 very beautiful daughters! beautiful eyes!
Seems like only when our babies cry did we question if we had over-reacted..i'm very and always guilty of that though my eldest hardly cry. She's a tough nut to crack ;P
Rachel: Your eldest is a mature and resilient girl! My big one still cries a lot with me every time I scold her. Sigh, I think I pamper her too much. I think Rachel is a good role model for her!
ha..Rachel's head will swell hearing your praises!
you are so sweet and kind with your words. ;)
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