Yet, how many times have I clamped them down by telling them to "hurry up" or "you need to sleep now. We will talk about that tomorrow. Goodnight!" - only to remember days later that I did not address any of their questions "tomorrow". And how many spurious "tomorrows" have I made empty promises with?
Reading this article was a huge wake-up call for me because I also happened to have a little daughter who is just like Hands Free Mama's second girl - a Little Bee who simply has no schedules, worries or sense of urgency in her life. She is content to just observe butterflies flitting amongst pretty blossoms when all of us are hurrying to our destinations. She is happy to just sit and sing to herself when it is time for homework. She will happily squat down and blow hard at a plump dandelion when we are walking to her tuition class. At the supermarket cashier, she would sweetly (and loudly!) chirped a resounding "thank you!" incessantly, not bothering about the queue behind us - until the cashier acknowledged her with a smile.
The saddest thing is her rebuttal to my copious "hurry up" - "Mama, just one more page, please..." (when she is reading before bedtime) or "Mummy, one more minute, pleaaasseee!" (when she is doodling just before homework time).
In this time-strapped world (and in a very stressful Singapore), and for a working mother like me with very little time with the kids, how can we stop and smell the roses with our children? How do we tell them "To heck with homework and exams in Singapore, just live in the present and do what you want now!"? How do we balance a frenetic life in Singapore with the vivacity of quiescence?
Sadly, till now, I still have no answers to these questions. And although hubby and I try finding opportunities in every second to let our girls enjoy the little beauties of this splendid world, we are still saying "hurry up" in small doses, albeit in a more mindful manner.
 |
| Spending lots of time outdoors and just doing nothing helps to perpetuate the "no hurry up" philosophy for us! |
4 comments:
Once Mandy took over an hour to do her art homework. She was meticulously filling up the paper with color pencils. The thing is, she still had lots of other homework to do and there was little time left, plus she was very tired. I told her it's ok not to do it so nicely, that she should do her other, more important work first. I regretted that as soon as a I spoke it. Her response? "No. Drawings also have to be nice ok!"
I kept thinking about what she said after that. Do I have the right to put academics over art for her? She wanted to take her time to do a good job, even when it won't earn her any accolades. I should be proud of her.
Barry is like Annette. Always taking his time to observe and feel stuff. I quite like that. We have spotted countless interesting things along the way to and fro his school.But then, he is not in pri school yet. I wonder if we will still be able to do that then.
I agree with you, K. Sometimes when I chased them to finish their homework when they are painting or crafting or even reading, I have this thought about what right do I have to put academics above the things they truly enjoy. Sigh.
Barry sounds exactly like Annette! Try to factor in (a lot) of extra time for him before deadlines, which was what I did for Annette. And even then, there is still the inevitable "hurry up! we are running out of time!" mantras once they are in primary school. It is a cruel world in Singapore's primary schools indeed :(
Lynette, I get what you are saying but I think parents indeed have a choice, even in our current education system. We can choose schools that do not hand out crazy amount of homework or unnecessary tests, choose to allow our kids to do their best and learn from school and not pile them with assessment books, worksheets or tuition etc. Once we do that, they will have more free time to smell the roses, especially before they reach upper primary. It is achievable.
But I think, you know this already, and you are already doing a wonderful job in this aspect.
My boys are lucky that school is still a breeze for them, hence they have hours of free time everyday to just daydream and watch the world go by. I hope I can keep it the same for O.
Shirley, thanks for popping by the blog! Agree with you that the selection of school is very important, which is why my girls are in this school, because they are known for lesser homework. However, there is still homework! And I totally understand what you mean by parents playing a part to encourage our children to smell the roses and not adding more pressure. Thanks for the great advice!
Post a Comment