A Beginning And The End

I attended the final session of Little Bee's weekend enrichment school last Saturday with bittersweet emotions. She had spent many happy Saturdays here for more than a year, and had developed a sense of security and familiarity with the environment. We ended the weekend lessons, which are highly enjoyable, because she is starting nursery one next Monday and we do not want her to over-tire herself with too many lessons at such a young age.

Little Bee with her wonderful teachers and classmates (yes, it was a VERY small class!) for a final class photo. Big Bee joined us in this class because it was a term end party. 

So, with the end of this episode, comes a new chapter in Little Bee's life. A daily school. 

Last Friday, I brought her to her new school for an induction so she can get to know her teachers and classmates before the shocking first day. As we had always been accompanying her in her weekend classes, she assumed that she will always have my presence in the class, despite all that I had told her - that school is for big children and I cannot go inside the classroom.

When we arrived, it was playground time, so Little Bee shrieked with excitement and joined her friends amidst much camaraderie and friendliness. She looked like a baby compared to all her tall classmates! She smiled and bounced excitedly with her teachers, and tried to conform to convention when the kids held hands, went back into school and washed their hands. I stayed at a discreet distance away so she could adjust to living this little life without the constant companionship of Mummy. She seemed content just to have me loitering around from a distance - kind of like her security bolster! 

The main hurdle was in class. Experience had taught me (too) well that all kids panicked when they went into a new class with new people. Thank goodness that day was a term-end party day, so there were LOTS of snacks for the children to eat! She trooped obediently to the teacher with a bowl of mashed potato, and the teacher asked her, "Do you want chicken? (nodded) Do you want broccoli? (nodded) Do you want carrots? (nodded)" So different from Big Bee last time who usually just scooted away with the main dish with minimal ingredients! 

Little Bee sat down meekly amidst all her new, strapping tall N1 classmates and started munching on her food very very seriously. She was the only one who finished the entire bowl complete with broccoli and carrots! She even went up to the teacher and asked for a slice of orange after her meal. The party started when teatime was over, and the lucky children were served loads of yummy (and sinful) snacks! I saw her clambering up her chair to reach for a square sandwich and asked for chips. I guess she must be thinking this school is heavenly, nothing but playground and delicious snacks! 

Making eye contact with her new friend whilst eating her mashed potato. Check out her meek and worried look!

I stayed outside the door, peeping every now and then, and I was elated to see her adjusting beautifully, not looking for me! I could even go downstairs to chill out a bit and when I went back up, the door to her classroom was closed. 

The centre manager told me she behaved wonderfully well, and I just sat outside her classroom, beaming with sweet satisfaction. This was such a juxtaposition from Big Bee's major separation anxiety when she was in N1! 

BUT. All of a sudden, I heard a very familiar wail emanating from the classroom and my heart sank. I peeped inside and saw Little Bee crying to the teacher, asking for Mummy. When she saw me, with teary eyes, she clung to me desperately, sobbing quietly away, ignoring all the wide gawking eyes of her fellow classmates. She was calm when I cuddled her but did not want to leave my side lest I did my disappearing act again. Shortly after, I left the school with her. 

That night, as she was sleeping fitfully, fatigued from all the stress of that day, my heart contracted woefully as I think that her carefree liberty has limited days. She will be like all kids, needing to be in school everyday for 3.5 hours, facing the world of kiddy politics and will not be ensconced in the warm love of home. But these will be challenges that will shape her character in time to come, no doubt, very much like how Big Bee has been moulded through a fulfilling education of social interaction and academic immersion. 

I really hope she can adjust swiftly and well, with minimal crying, to the first day of school next Monday!