The Beauty of Expressing Yourself

Communication skills are very fundamental to one’s character development, but sadly, the local school system is one that quells the freedom of expression and the confidence to articulate your opinions in class. Which is why I am always advocating for open communications with the Bees, even if their opinions differ drastically from us. I am also thankful that the Bees are enjoying communicative, expressive types of activities in school and outside of school.

Debate

Big Bee is a prolific debater. She used to be quite an introverted girl in primary school, with teachers telling me how quiet she could be in class. So, I am thankful that she decided to break out of her comfort zone in secondary 1 when she tried out for debate as a CCA. She has since represented her school multiple times in national debate competitions, and her team had even emerged as champions in an important national debate competition. 

Getting kids to get out of their comfort zones is so fundamental in nurturing them. Because our world is a crazy world – a world where constant changes beckon. A world that is so volatile and unpredictable. And if our children are used to adaptability and operating out of their comfort zones, I think they will be able to cope better in this madness whirling all around them.

And debate allows Big Bee to understand so much more of this insane world. Through debate, she had to work on so much independent research on world issues. These days, her knowledge of current affairs has surpassed that of me and my hubby. From the intricacies of the electoral college system in the USA elections, to the plight of the Rohingya refugees, to the debt crisis in Greece, to more general discussions on political systems, global warming, public healthcare etc.

So, I am thankful that her knowledge of the world has expanded, her courage to speak in front of an audience has multiplied, and more importantly, she is able to weigh multiple perspectives on different issues.

Drama

Of course, not everyone is suited for debate. Little Bee will not enjoy researching relentlessly on current affairs and world issues. But she has an expressive soul, and she loves to perform in front of large audiences. She is the type of extrovert who will blossom in front of huge audiences, who will shine the brightest if surrounded by people whom she must interact at length with. Recently, she discovered her love for drama, theatre and performing, and she had never been happier.

She is now part of a very active show performing group for children, and had enjoyed herself tremendously these past 4 months. She would skip and hop to the plethora of practices required before a major concert. And is perfectly happy with the numerous hours needed to perfect that few moments on stage. 

And that is what performing arts is all about, isn't it? The manifold hours of sweat and effort, of repeating one’s lines a thousand times, of performing those same steps a million times, of even more work of memorizing scripts and lyrics at home. For this is what true showmanship is all about – grit, effort and guts. And I am so grateful that freedom-loving Little Bee has embraced all the muck and mirth that comes with it.

Recently, she took part in an audition for a talent showcase in USA, and was selected out of thousands who had auditioned. Those were nerve-wrecking days for the introverts in the family (all of us, except her!) but she breezed through her auditions with such an immense sense of enjoyment and joy! More on this in another blog post!

Life In A Nutshell

Life had been super busy! I had been sort of neglecting the blog because I had been spending more time with my handwritten journal which I scribble in every night. So, that had sort of taken over my writing bug nightly. It was a wonderful way to slow down at the end of a hectic day, allowing me to collect my thoughts and think back to what the day looked like. Journal writing is an excellent way to detoxify my mind, and I had been indulging in this habit since age 11, so I am thankful for the sustained interest in it! That being said, I do miss blogging, so will try to inhabit this space more often! 

Here's a quick peek at our lives at this point of time! 

Big Bee is a mature 14-year-old teenager and Little Bee is now well into her tweens at 10 years old. How time flies! I am glad I really cherished every moment of their childhood with them when they were much younger, despite all the fatigue of looking after little children. Before I could blink my eyes (figuratively!), they are growing fast into little adults! I must thank God that He had nurtured my 2 girls in ways that are very much blessed. I did not have to deal with any major teenage angst from Big Bee, nor any major meltdowns with Little Bee as she inched deeper into her tweenhood. Of course, there were the inevitable outbursts of independence and frustrations, but those were nothing I could not handle, and those little storms blew over quickly.

Big Bee had a very smooth transition into secondary school life (she is now in secondary 2). She got into the school of her choice through the Direct Schools Admissions scheme (DSA) before the PSLE, but still did well for her PSLE to justify her entrance into her school (which was what she wanted to prove!). Her school is an integrated programme school, which means that she would not need to take the O-levels, which is really a blessing! I am never a fan of too many national examinations, so the more we can cut down on examinations, the better! She also did well enough to earn a very nice scholarship from her primary school, which recognised her achievements in academics and extra-curricular activities. She is also on an MOE scholarship in her secondary school, which helps us cut down on school fees significantly. Secondary school can be quite costly compared to primary school! Hence, she eased into secondary school with the gratitude and confidence that she was recognised for her efforts, and I am thankful for that.

Little Bee is her usual nonchalant and mischievous self. She is exploring the world through more mature lenses now, but her sense of wonder and child-likeness is still prevalent....and I am grateful that she had not become cynical yet. She had a bit of a rocky year in terms of academics. She was in a high-ability class last year, and I constantly had to deal with pesky teacher calls about how she could not catch up with the rest of her superpower peers. I constantly told the teacher that she should not be comparing peers in the classroom. Thankfully, she was put in a mixed-ability class this year. I secretly rejoiced because she is now doing much better in terms of "coping" in class, and I hope this helps a little with her self esteem, although she had always been a very confident girl, no matter what. I also realise how relevant streaming can be, especially for kids to be put with like-minded peers, and I appreciate the system for this. Calls from teachers had also ceased, so I am truly grateful! 

Every child has his or her different strengths and weaknesses. My 2 girls are testaments to that! Not everyone is suited for our harsh and rigid education system. However, we are living in Singapore, so instead of complaining and not being able to change the system, I think we as parents should be focusing on the strengths of our individual children and adjusting the system to fit them. For Little Bee, her strengths lie in creative and performing arts, so we had been doing a lot more for her in these areas. More to come in future blog posts! 

Learning At Home: A Magic Picture!

We hardly have time to do home learning during the school term these days, what with Little Bee's CCAs and school work. So, it was a much welcomed reprieve when we finally managed to squeeze in time to do some fun crafts during the June holidays.

This interesting "magical" craft amused Little Bee for a couple of hours! I tried this with Big Bee when she was younger, and she was amazed at the end product. It was truly gratifying when we saw the same sense of wonderment in Little Bee's eyes too!

This "magical" picture changes from monochrome to colourful with just a pull of your hand - what wizardry indeed!

You will need:
Thin card or paper
Scissors
Markers, colour pencils, felt tip pens
Small plastic folder
Tape

Step 1: Take a sheet of thin paper and fold it carefully into 3 equal sections.

Step 2: On the front flap, mark out a rectangle and the finger grip space. Cut away the finger grip space.

Step 3: Open out the card and cut out the rectangle. This will be the front of the card.

Step 4: Draw a decorative border on the front frame. Cut a separate piece of paper that is the same size as one section of the card, and draw your design, colouring the entire picture.

Step 5: Slip your completed picture into the plastic folder with the top against the fold of the plastic. Trim the plastic folder to the picture, and use the tape to stick the back of the picture to the plastic.

Step 6: Use a marker pen and draw an outline of the picture on the plastic.

Step 7: Fold the bottom flap of your card into the middle section. Slip the plastic-covered picture over the bottom flap. The bottom flap is now between the coloured picture and the outlined picture on the plastic flap. Fold the top flap down over the plastic. Grip the plastic and paper, and then pull the coloured picture out. Voila! The picture will seem to appear magically in colour as you pull it out. Enjoy!

Little Bee was able to work on this herself with minimal help from me. She had loads of fun! Experiment with different pictures like a hillside covered with white, fluffy sheep or a bare table top with a birthday cake appearing on it (I am excited to try this one out!).

Why I Avoid Parent-Teacher Talks

Since the Bees entered primary school, I had only attended 2 parent-teacher talks (at the start of each of their primary 1 journey). I then deemed these talks highly invaluable, and stopped attending. I do not need to learn of my children’s personalities from teachers because I know them well. I do not need to listen to how inattentive or engaged they are in class because I believe all teachers should make their lessons interesting in order to capture the attention of their students. I do not need to know if they had or had not completed their homework, because truly, it is the onus of my children to do their own homework, and I believe that teachers should reinforce this message in school. I do not need to know how my child fared vis a vis her classmates, so long as I am personally happy with her performance. Finally, I do not believe in parent teacher talks probably because I grew up in an era when my own parents were too busy trying to earn a living for us and we also learned to take charge of our own destinies independently. And that is how I want my children to grow up.

Alas, I was “summoned” by Little Bee’s teacher for the parent-teacher meeting this year. Other than braving the long wait, I also have to jostle with irresponsible parents who were late or who took up extra time in their consultations irresponsibly. I also saw parents with teary eyes, red noses and anxious, depressed faces. And I lamented about the sad state of our primary education here in Singapore. My children are already in a holistic school where school co-curricular activities and huge fun events are regarded as important as academics. And even then, I saw such anxious faces amongst parents. It’s sad indeed.

To put everything into context, Little Bee is a year-end baby who is still very idealistic, naïve and filled with wide-eyed wonder and effervescence at everything around her. I love this personality trait about her – her bubbly optimism, her indefatigable enthusiasm and her zest in enjoying life to the fullest. Sure, I have to grapple with academic carelessness and untidiness (because she just wants to hurry and complete her work so she can play with her little ponies or read the next Harry Potter book). However, I had seen her grown this year – she is much more responsible in completing her own homework without me needing to ask her, and I think she had made an immense effort in making her writing and presentation of written work tidier. And I am a happy mum in this aspect.

Which was why I was so disappointed and baffled when Little Bee’s teacher started criticising how active and chatty she is in class (I know about her gregarious trait since she started to walk and talk!), how untidy she is in her work (I told the teacher that this year I already saw a marked improvement in her written work) and finally, to my shock, how childish she still is. Goodness, this little girl just turned 8 four months ago! So, in all politeness, I asked for examples of childishness, and she could not provide any, beyond the simple and thoughtless statement of “Hmmm, just very childish in her thinking, compared to many other classmates who were much more mature.” I was somewhat enraged because this is a little girl’s childhood that you are talking about. Why do you want children to grow up so quickly in this harsh world?

Truth be told, Little Bee was unwittingly streamed into what was known as a high-ability class in school, and from the beginning of this year, she already tried her best to keep up with her very capable and driven classmates. I really miss the good old years in primary 1 and 2, with totally loving and nurturing teachers and classmates who embrace holistic enjoyment in life. 

I bet I sound like a totally defensive parent, and my teacher friends would be telling me that education is a tripartite collaboration – with the school, parent and child. But what happens when our concept of education is just so different from what the teacher or the school system perceives? What happens when I am proud of what Little Bee had achieved already, that I know she had already put in effort this year, and it is precisely this effort that I chose to applaud. Not to compare her end results with some high achiever in her class?

It was a sad day indeed, and I pray very hard not to be summoned for another parent-teacher chat! 

Colours Of Nature: An Ode To Nature

In our rushed existence, we often do not stop and realise that we are surrounded by endless natural beauties. Yes, even in urban Singapore.

Have you noticed the abandoned nest of the sunbird out in the shrubs? And the busy-ness of the ubiquitous and resilient ants transporting a dead wasp home? Or how the droplets of dew trapped in the mimosa plant captured the tangerine sunrays of a rising sun?

Have you ever smelled the rain before a storm, that piquant smell of dense condensation in the air that is the harbinger of approaching rain? Or were you fascinated by the dappled blue skies filled with painfully pretty altocumulus clouds that spells gorgeous weather?

And these are all around us in urban Singapore - free for all to appreciate. We just need to stop and observe. All it takes is a keen eye and an open mind to appreciate the natural beauty all around us. 

Children generally have sharp senses for little incidences of nature. Like how Little Bee first discovered a beautiful sunbird's nest just outside our living room. Or how Big Bee discerned a colossal spider web, lined with sparkling droplets of morning dew and a huge spider (and its insect meal!), on a walk in MacRitchie.

Can you spot the bird in the nest?

Just last week, as we were lazily ambling to our neighbourhood park, Little Bee chanced upon a small tree stump and squatted beside it for a long time, trying to decipher how old the tree is, from the rings in the stump.

As parents, it is so necessary to provide the space and time for children to observe little beauties of nature at all times. Not hurrying them along. Nor confining outings to sterile air-conditioned malls. Getting out into the great outdoors - no matter how hot it is here in Singapore - allows us to be more cognisant of the natural beauty that exists all around us. 

Spider-Girls

The Bees indulged in a fair bit of rock-climbing at Kallang Wave over the December holidays. It was exciting for them, and a great activity to dispel their excess energies. Big Bee, being her usual athletic self, is a natural at rock-climbing. She would literally scramble up the entire length of the wall, scaling walls that are challenging even for adults. I could only achieve heights that are half of hers, as I always made the mistake of looking down at the tiny people below and then going into a panic attack!

As for Little Bee, she prefers scaling lower walls so that she could reach the top easier and that gave her a sense of achievement. Different kids, different approaches!

We also had great fun at the bouldering section, where we tried to scale the wall without any ropes or reinforcement - just pure, core strength. It was exhilarating when we tested our limits and crashed down on the soft floor of the boulder section, unfettered and liberated.

Rock climbing is a wonderful activity to challenge our children's (and ours!) limits, pushing them beyond their comfort zones and teaching them the power of strength and perseverance. We will be back for sure!

I Refuse To

This evening, Little Bee cried and told me she would be scolded by her teacher for not buying the Chinese Moral Studies activity book. Tomorrow would be Week 5 of the academic school year after all, and she is the only student in class not to have that book. Feeling guilty, I reassured her that I would go to school and check if the book is available in the bookstore. We scoured a couple of large Popular bookstores today, but it was sold out in these outlets, and she was not thrilled about it. But she could not chastise me for long because she only told me she needed that book last week. And I usually do not keep track of what books are missing after I bought all her textbooks in school. 

Within a split second, she cheered up considerably (this is the ever-optimistic Little Bee for you!). I was secretly thankful that I was on the receiving end of her nags...and not the other way round.

And this is how I try to govern school work with my 2 Bees since 7 years ago, when Big Bee first entered the highly stressful environment of the Singapore education system. 

When other parents asked me what homework was given today, I told them I do not know because I had not looked into their notebooks or homework files. 

I refuse to. Because this is the responsibility of my child, and not me. And if they found out they had forgotten to do their homework, they are the ones who will get reprimanded by the teacher. And I can save a session of nagging in exchange for more quality time together. 

When I heard about how parents had to intervene and correct their children's mistakes in their school work, I told them I have no idea what crazy answers my children gave ... because I had never looked through my child's completed homework. 

I refuse to. Because this is their homework, and they should do it themselves. So that their teachers can understand the full extent of the level of their standards as students. And I can just ask my children pleasantly, "So, have you finished your homework? Great! Now let's do some reading!" No flipping through their worksheets furtively, only to feel angst if there were some wrong answers. 

(Okay, sometimes I cheated and looked through their work just to find out where their level of understanding was. But I do not tell them if I spotted wrong answers!)

Of course, there are exceptions when they asked me for help with their homework. But since young, I had always been telling them that their school work is for them to handle alone, and they should not ask me for help. That should be the responsibility of their teachers. And I am thankful to my Bees' school and teachers who had always been insisting in the same message as me - "Parents, do NOT help with homework. We will do that!" So, the girls hardly asked me for help, unless it is some terribly challenging homework (which they seldom get from school anyway!). 

When I hear other parents complaining about English and Chinese spelling, I can totally understand their agony. Because it can be very frustrating to expect the kids to know every word on their spelling lists. Sometimes, I do not even know how to write certain Chinese words on their lists! 

So I refuse to be angry if the Bees - especially playful and forgetful Little Bee! - kept asking me to show them the words so they can refer to them. Or if they make repeated mistakes day after day. Or if they write or spell a word wrongly that they got correct the night before. I will just keep showing them the list until they get it correct. And they might come back with lower marks than usual. But hey, that is fine, I told them. Get better marks the next time. 

Our unforgiving education system is already so stressful, and sometimes I feel really angry with this system for ruining the beautiful childhood that my children could have enjoyed. But well, we live in this country, so we just have to abide by it! The best thing we could do is give our children some slack and not drill them so much. And give ourselves a piece of peace (pun intended!) by letting go and asking our children to handle their homework themselves. In addition to less nagging and lowered blood pressure, this also helps them to be more independent and hopefully, more persevering. Don't know a Math problem? Think harder! Don't remember a word for spelling? Take a look and try again! Don't know how to do your comprehension? Read again and write what you think is correct!

What resulted is this marvellous peace at home where school work is concerned. Unfortunately, I am still a stickler for punctuality and completing your work at the right time. So, sadly, I am still a drill sergeant asking them to "go do your work NOW" or "I am going to count to 3 so hurry up and come brush your teeth!" or "You need to sleep in 5 minutes' time!" 

I am still trying very hard to change this aspect of mine that is chasing the clock incessantly, abiding by it tirelessly and timing our activities right down to the second. Not a lot of success in letting go of this area, of flippantly dismissing the importance of time yet! 

A Reluctant Good-bye To A Fabulous Year

2014 had been a really rewarding and fulfilling year for us. It was filled with unexpectedly pleasant surprises and lots of learning experiences. It was a year of milestones for the girls - with Big Bee ending the fundamental primary school chapter in her life, and Little Bee walking an inch closer to being an upper primary girl (can you imagine my little baby heading towards upper primary?!).

I guess the biggest "hurdle" had been Big Bee's PSLE experience, but we started last year with the philosophy that the PSLE is just another exam, and that we should not compromise on anything in our lives for this exam. And I was glad we lived up to that. There was minimal stress and life still went on in terms of overseas vacations, weekend outings, gatherings with friends, extracurricular activities in school, etc.

Last year was a year that I witnessed tremendous maturity and growth in Big Bee. She grew from an angsty tween to a wonderful teenager-to-be who shared lots of gossips with me. It came with a price though. This year was the year that I fed myself on loads of young adult fiction, lingo, social media and movies, just so I could keep up with her friends and her. But it helped that we read and watched their stuff, because that opened up so many conversations and it felt kind of wonderful when her friends called me a "cool mum"!

Despite the PSLE, Big Bee got into the school netball team with loads of practices. I encouraged that because I think extracurriculars are what make well-rounded, healthy and well-adjusted tweens. For the first 7 months of the PSLE year, she was practising in school 3 times a week, only coming home at 6pm in the evenings. For the first quarter of the year, she was also loaded with piano and ballet practices - all of which helped her to destress and deviate her mind from academic work, she admitted to me. She also went on a research trip with her classmates and teachers to Hong Kong, and it really enriched her perspectives on social values.

One of the best things that we did was to prepare her DSA personal statements. That helped her reflect on her life and past experiences, and we were able to talk a lot about these past experiences and what she looks forward to in future. She also switched her goals from a typical top school offering the A-levels to her current dream school with a different, more analytical form of education. We are constantly thankful for what she had been blessed with and from now on, her future endeavours would be up to her to craft and shape.

As for Little Bee, primary 2 had been fun and leisurely for her, as always. We were extremely lucky to be blessed with an excellent form teacher for Little Bee, who was also her form teacher in primary 1. She is a caring, committed and warm teacher, and all the students (and parents!) love her so much! I believe this teacher is a great inspiration to Little Bee, who had done surprisingly well in her school work last year, despite her highly playful nature.

I am really happy that Little Bee - being her happy-go-lucky self - loves school and treats school as one gigantic playground. Being a highly gregarious and sociable girl, she also had lots of good friends whom she bonded with. Last year, she began to devote herself more to her dance CCA in school, and was delighted to be part of a huge charity concert on the last day of school. She had also completed her swim course and is now swimming well.

The Bees' reading adventures had been colourful this year. Big Bee read a total of 100+ books last year (yes, the OCD her kept a record of the books she read), and is very into young adult, dystopian series like The Hunger Games, Divergent series, etc. As for Little Bee, she is full on into Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl, having completed all of Roald Dahl's children fiction and Enid Blyton's Enchanted Woods and Malory Towers series. She had started on the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson series, but still prefers Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl for now!

2014 had been fun and beautiful for the Bees - let's hope 2015 will bring lots of equally enriching experiences too!

Smells Like Singapore Spirit...

Rousing cheers. Rambunctious jeers. 

Packed, sweaty bodies violently gesticulating away. 

Massive crowds standing and stomping on their feet.

Banners. Whistles. Horns. Drums. 

A whole kaleidoscope of cacophony, elation, chaos, disappointment. 

And no - I am not talking about a rock concert (although the whole ambience felt like one!). Instead, the girls and us were at a Singapore versus Malaysia AFF Suzuki Cup match. Crowds were boisterous and all decked out in red. The atmosphere was electrifying. And the girls were shocked at how rude and rowdy football fans were, especially when they started chanting "boo" when players from Malaysia doubled over in pain during more aggressive tackles. Haha, not the best place to inculcate sportsmanship to the girls! 

The girls decked out in their father's favourite soccer team shirts!

Hubby and I thought it would be a good experience to bring the Bees to a roaring football match - and we knew the Singapore versus Malaysia match would be raucous enough! 

It was an excellent experience, and brought me back to those days in the early 1990s when we were all attending football matches with the Singapore "dream team" soccer team. Best of all, the match was played in the new National Stadium, and I was impressed by the huge infrastructure of a stylish, state-of-the-art stadium! 

The entire stadium was almost filled, and everyone did the Kallang Wave deliriously, much to the Bees' amusement. The Kallang Roar was loud and clear. And the spirit was high. Everyone smiled at each other, and much encouragement was shown to the small but zealous supporters of the Malaysian team. 

Little Bee brought along her pom-poms to cheer for the Lions!

Alas, we did not win, but I thought this was a wonderful experience for the girls (although they started reading their books halfway through the match!). We will be back for more matches! 

Oops, the girls started reading out of boredom halfway through the match!

We took the MRT to avoid traffic jams, and the entire MRT station was filled with red shirts! 

Playing Games The Old-Fashioned Way

Now that we are full-swing into the year-end holidays, the girls literally have a lot of time on their hands after a very busy and intense school year. They did not have any holiday programmes this time round, and they spent their long days luxuriously, without any schedules or objectives.

And that was how I remember my own school holidays as a kid too. There were no tuition in the holidays back in those days, not a lot of play dates and definitely no holiday enrichment programmes! So, I would spend my long days with my brother, cooking up ideas to play with - ranging from us being pretend DJs and recording countless radio programmes (on cassette tapes!) to playing restaurant or clinic. All I remember of those days was our unfettered happiness and carefree spirit. And I want the Bees to remember their school holidays in the same way too - unshackled and free!

So, they spent their days doing what they want. This is also an especially busy time at work for me, so they were literally left to their own devices the whole day. I am glad my mother is a great help though. She always believes in healthy, robust activities conducted in the great outdoors which do not involve paying, so she would bring them for walks in the park and badminton games.

And every night when I am back from work, we would try to play board games as a family. Every sort of board games from Scrabble to Blokus to Game Of Life to Monopoly to UNO!

The girls always enjoy strategizing against me in Blokus, which always resulted in me being the last! 

We are board game junkies from eons back, and have a good collection of board games at home. We will usually bring these out during the holidays to play games the good old-fashioned way. Compared to the instant, one-to-one and anti-social gratifications of iPad and mobile phone apps which I never approve of, playing board games slows time down, allowing for turn-taking, enforcing understanding, patience and empathy. Most importantly, we laughed together, jeered together, poked fun at one another together. What a wonderful way to bond!

Their all-time favourite - Game Of Life! I guess the reality depicted in this game appeals to them. 

Dancing Queen

Life had been very busy once school was out a fortnight ago. What with working full time and juggling the girls' social programmes, it had been pretty overwhelming indeed!

Little Bee ended the school year with a big bang, being involved in a huge charity concert that was organised by the school. She had been very busy after her exams with lots of practices and rehearsals for this concert. She was part of the modern jazz dance group, which exemplifies her bubbly and exuberant personality.

I love how their school constantly organises such events, allowing students to understand that there is so much more than academic achievements, celebrating extracurricular participation and welcoming a whole diversity of different strengths and talents. More importantly, it is really heartwarming to see the performers interacting with the beneficiaries of the event.

This year, the concert was organised for Club Rainbow's special needs children, and all the CCA groups came together for a huge array of different performances. The showcase of the different CCAs highlighted the emphasis that the Bees' school places on extracurricular activities, and I am constantly thankful that I put them in a school which looks at the students holistically.

The concert ended with a touching finale where the whole auditorium of audience was singing with the performing students and the special needs children on stage. This reinforced the amazing school spirit and bond that enveloped the entire school all year round.

Little Bee loves her school and really enjoyed performing and being part of a larger celebration of love and life. I love how they learned about teamwork, resilience, diligent practice and team encouragement through such major performances. The sight of the dancers running through multiple rehearsals, being disciplined by their dance instructors and spending time with each other in between performances was uplifting. I felt very assured that Little Bee is undergoing a very holistic education in an environment that she cherishes and loves.

She is now in the throes of rehearsals and practices for another major dance concert for her ballet group outside of school, and I see the same enthusiasm and zeal from her for performing on stage. I am glad she got to experience stage performances, the hard work behind a few minutes' worth of entertainment, and what it means to exude a whole different stage persona when performing!

The Little Doodler

Little Bee loves to doodle. All kinds of notes. Different types of sketches. But she does it ALL.THE.TIME. On textbooks. On assessment books. On spelling lists. On hundreds of scrap papers. On newspapers. Everywhere.

She will scribble little expressions of love for our little family. Her interpretation of spelling words. Lots of different campaigns - charity signboards, party invitations, royal propositions. Plenty of sketches depicting her moods - mountainous landscapes, villages, gardens, palaces. Once, she even attempted to replicate a quarter of the cityscape that Stephen Wiltshire drew of Singapore.

And I really love coming home, seeing different pieces of scrap papers that she will leave behind at all times. Like what Big Bee told me today, "Sometimes, I just cannot bear to throw away a messy scrap piece of paper with a touching note from mei-mei, like 'I love you, jie-jie' or 'Thank you for teaching me, jie-jie', decorated with lots of hearts!"

And it is true. Although Little Bee's random doodles and sketches are not on huge canvas boards, and many of them are scribbled quickly, in her signature rapid style, the messages are often heartfelt, authentic, witty, personal and touching. And they just represent who she is and how good she is with people. So we ended up hoarding loads of her cute little scribbles all over our house!

Now, can anyone suggest a good place to keep all these small little notes?!

This was something she drew for Auntie Jeanne's birthday card

Yes, she doodled on test papers as well

One of her many "happy family" and "love makes the world goes round" types of campaign drawings :) 

This was doodled on a school assignment, probably during lesson time, because I saw the teacher writing cheekily to her to ask if she had been paying attention in class :P

Her First Pets

Our house has always been filled with animals from the days when the girls were little. Big Bee's first pet was a hamster, and we learned about death and life through little Pebbles. Thereafter, it was an endless parade of hamsters, fishes, octupuses (yes!) and 3 dogs...and now, 2 little terrapins.

Little Bee had been asking for her very own pet since a couple of years ago, and we had been putting her request off because a pet is not a plaything to us. Animals in our house are treated with much love and care, and every new pet takes up a lot of time and effort. Besides, we already have 3 playful and boisterous dogs which the Bees play with. So, I must admit we brushed off Little Bee's incessant requests for a long time, and hoped that it would be a passing fancy.

However, up until last month, she was still talking about her own little pet. And that was when Hubby and I decided to let her experience ownership and responsibility. Being the youngest in the family often means getting a wee bit more pampering and attention from everyone else, so we thought it might be good for her to start caring for a pet she could call her own.

And so....in came 2 baby terrapins, whom she named Pebbles (you can tell my kids like this name a lot!) and Melody. We told her to feed them daily and to play with them. Of course, kids being kids...it also meant that she needed a little reminding at times to feed them, and at times, we adults were the ones feeding these terrapins, especially if they are a little fussy when eating. However, we hope these terrapins can instill in her values of love, empathy, care and responsibility.

In the meantime, she is really excited and came up with a journal entry about her little terrapins. Here was what she wrote:

"Today, Mummy and Papa bought me two terrapins! The more active one is called Pebbles and the one which is less active is called Melody. My favourite things about them is when I feed them and when I play with them. I dislike it when the terrapins are on my hand because they will keep climbing around. They are both very cute but when I first bought them, they were very timid."

Then, she did a little sketch on the aquarium we set up for the terrapins too!

Pets are such wonderful opportunities to engender empathy, love and care for other living species. More importantly, they make us feel loved and entertained too!

Painting Heavenly Dancers

On a cool, languorous Sunday afternoon, Little Bee decided to indulge in a little bout of painting. It was ages since she last painted and she was visibly excited. As we were currently in the midst of a Cambodian-themed homelearning spiel, I initially suggested to her to paint the Angkor Wat. However, she preferred something more feminine and delicate, so we decided on a painting with ballerinas floating above a sea of blue, thus reflecting the theme of "heavenly dancers" that is still so prevalent in Angkor Wat.

We spent less than an hour on this painting, and it was a nice, relaxing piece of art for Little Bee. I really love how ethereal and surreal the outcome was, although my mum kept questioning why these ballerinas can dance on water! Well, it just helped to illustrate the theme of magic and myth that we are exploring with the Cambodian homelearning stint!

Step 1: Brush light blue poster paint over the entire drawing paper, then paint a darker blue for the sea.

Step 2: Using white poster paint (or chalk!), paint a round circle in the sky for the moon with white reflection on the sea's surface.

Step 3: Paint a light yellow ring around the moon (you can smudge or blend the colours if you want), and paint tinges of yellow on the reflection in the water.

Step 4: Using bold, medium-sized strokes, paint one ballerina's body and her tutu in the sky (or anywhere you like!).

Step 5: Using beige, peach or beige-coloured paint, paint in the ballerina's arms, legs, neck and head. Then embellish the ballerina's costume with a tiara or head gear and strappy pointe shoes. Use your finger or the brush to smudge the tutu to create a soft, fuzzy effect.

Step 6: Paint a second ballerina in a different ballet pose.

Tada!

Homelearning: Learning About The World From Placemats!

Homelearning had become much more ad-hoc these days. Gone are the days when we had time to do a month's worth of thematic learning. Part of the reason was because the Bees had developed a lot of their own interests by now. And the other part of the reason stemmed from my own stagnation, I must say.

Still, I tried to grab hold of any small opportunity to talk to them about the world in which they live in, highlighting issues that are not covered in their very academic and rigid school curriculum. Opportunities as small as using these placemats below to talk about geography, animals and the world they live in.

We bought these placemats back in 2011 when we were exploring the theme of Planet Earth. I remember talking a lot about geographical regions, major cities and the animals around the world using these placemats and a globe when they were bright-eyed little girls. 

3 years henceforth, we are still using these placemats for our daily meals. One languorous afternoon last Sunday, when the Bees were in the throes of revising for their primary 6 preliminary exams and primary 2 continuous assessment tests, I told them to take a long break just to "chat about the world".

We relooked at the world maps on these placemats, and I conducted impromptu quizzes (the Bees are fans of quizzes). A small sampling of the questions are: 

1. Point out the city of Reykjavik on the map! Which country is it in? 

2. Name an animal that is unique only to the continent of Asia/China/Australia. 

3. Will polar bears and penguins ever meet each other? Why/why not?

4. Point out the highest point on earth? How about the lowest? 

5. Where did Titanic sink? 

6. What do you call a whale with a unicorn horn? (This was a question that the Bees asked me, and they were shocked that I had not heard about narwhals.)

Easy questions to ask. Fun answers to talk about. Without any writing, crafting, doodling or reading. Just plenty of funny, irreverent (at times) and invigorating discussion-based learning! And I must say it was a good, long reprieve from academic and book-based revision! 

Purging Urgency From Our Lives

The day I read this article, I cried. The article was about letting our children smell the roses. Dawdling in their own little ways just so they can explore the world. Being inadvertently languid because they are curious about so many different things around them. Asking all kinds of thoughtful questions at bedtime simply because they do not understand the ways of the world ("Why are there wars, mama? Is there a God in this world? Why are there different religions? Where did we come from? Did God create us, or did we evolve from apes?")

Yet, how many times have I clamped them down by telling them to "hurry up" or "you need to sleep now. We will talk about that tomorrow. Goodnight!" - only to remember days later that I did not address any of their questions "tomorrow". And how many spurious "tomorrows" have I made empty promises with?

Reading this article was a huge wake-up call for me because I also happened to have a little daughter who is just like Hands Free Mama's second girl - a Little Bee who simply has no schedules, worries or sense of urgency in her life. She is content to just observe butterflies flitting amongst pretty blossoms when all of us are hurrying to our destinations. She is happy to just sit and sing to herself when it is time for homework. She will happily squat down and blow hard at a plump dandelion when we are walking to her tuition class. At the supermarket cashier, she would sweetly (and loudly!) chirped a resounding "thank you!" incessantly, not bothering about the queue behind us - until the cashier acknowledged her with a smile.

The saddest thing is her rebuttal to my copious "hurry up" - "Mama, just one more page, please..." (when she is reading before bedtime) or "Mummy, one more minute, pleaaasseee!" (when she is doodling just before homework time).

In this time-strapped world (and in a very stressful Singapore), and for a working mother like me with very little time with the kids, how can we stop and smell the roses with our children? How do we tell them "To heck with homework and exams in Singapore, just live in the present and do what you want now!"? How do we balance a frenetic life in Singapore with the vivacity of quiescence?

Sadly, till now, I still have no answers to these questions. And although hubby and I try finding opportunities in every second to let our girls enjoy the little beauties of this splendid world, we are still saying "hurry up" in small doses, albeit in a more mindful manner.

Spending lots of time outdoors and just doing nothing helps to perpetuate the "no hurry up" philosophy for us! 

Happy 49th Birthday, Singapore!

This was taken last year when we were at the National Day Parade Preview.

This National Day weekend was spent amidst lots of bonding and lazing around. We hardly meet friends these days because time is precious and with the Bees growing up so quickly, we kind of want to hog them to ourselves as much as possible! Furthermore, with PSLE looming in the very near future, we could not afford whole days captured in leisure activities.

Still, it was a wonderful weekend which started with a secondary school class reunion with a brilliant turn-out and incessant catching up. It was incredible in the sense that all of us viewed one another with the unguarded masks of 15- and 16-year-old teenagers, mentally travelling back to the days before we had factitious and meaningless labels that are attached to our occupations, where we live, where we graduated from, how much we earn, etc. We were all stripped clean of all these labels and were convivial and genuine. It also struck me that time is cruelly trundling on, waiting for no one. A stark reminder of time's breakneck speed - Big Bee is a mere 4 years younger than the last time some of us had seen one another when we graduated at 16.

The rest of the weekend meandered languidly along with good food, lazing by the pool, a walk in a park and of course, watching the National Day Parade as a family, a time-honoured ritual since our childhood days.

The Bees were visibly inspired by this year's show of patriotism on TV, so I interviewed them in jest about what they love in Singapore. Here goes!

Q: What do you love most about Singapore?
Big Bee: "Multi-racial society, non-corrupt government and lots of educational opportunities!" (then she went cackling away and asked if I am testing her on her oral exams, hmph)
Little Bee: "Safe & clean, the trees and flowers are beautiful here, and I like the weather here!"

Q: Favourite places in Singapore?
Big Bee: "Hm, home, school and JEM (the shopping mall in Jurong, where she watched some of her favourite movies with friends and where there is a Kinokuniya)". Then she changed her mind. "No no, it is Universal Studios, Marina Bay Sands and JEM!"
Little Bee: "Oh, lots of places! Do I have any limit? OK - Kinokuniya Bookstores, Universal Studios, Esplanade, Marina Bay Sands, Gardens By The Bay, ALL our beaches, JEM and Westgate!"

Whew. And I notice they did not mention much of the nature reserves or parks that we brought them regularly to. Grrr.

Q: What was your favourite part of the National Day Parade?
Big Bee: "The video about the history of Singapore! So that the younger generation like me can understand what the pioneers had gone through to build Singapore up!"
Little Bee: "The dance performances! And the Red Lions!"

Q: Favourite hawker food?
Both girls: "Chwee kueh!"

How was your National Day weekend?

Siem Reap: The Kingdom Of Ancient Kings and Heavenly Dancers (Part 1)

Siem Reap is mesmerising, alluring and enchanting. It is like living in another world, where time passes slowly and life is much simpler. We spent 4 days here at the end of June, and despite our short stay, we felt rejuvenated and enriched. Rejuvenated with the understanding that there is so much to life than daily deadlines and stressful to-do lists. Enriched in the knowledge that empires rise and fall from time immemorial, and the realisation that we are nothing but tiny chess pieces in this gargantuan world, along the endless journey of time.

There was so much to see and experience in Siem Reap, and my personal favourite experience was exploring the ruins of some of their ancient and breathtaking temples. There were several memorable indelible moments in our trip, and these were:

1) Little Bee ate a deep fried cricket!
I know Little Bee is brave and adventurous, but her desire to eat a deep fried cricket came as an utmost surprise for me! We were walking around in the night market one night when a female hawker ambled by with a big aluminium tray of deep fried crickets.

Most of us squirmed at the sight of these crickets, but my father-in-law and Little Bee picked up a cricket each and examined them closely. My father-in-law was prodding Little Bee in jest to eat it, with the expectations that she would not. Little Bee was extremely curious about the cricket and I saw her asking lots of questions about the crickets with the hawker.

Being the typical kiasi Singaporean, I told Little Bee that deep fried crickets sold in this manner may not be very hygienic or clean. To my embarrassment, the friendly Cambodians around us insisted that the crickets were completely safe and clean to eat. Before I could say anything, I saw Little Bee's eyes sparkled with excitement and glee when she heard that it was safe to eat these crickets, and immediately popped one big cricket into her wide-opened mouth, much to our shock and surprise!

Can you see the cricket's legs peeking out from her mouth?!

She chewed on it with zest, swallowed down the remains heartily and declared exuberantly that it was super delicious! The Cambodians around her cheered jubilantly and as I watched her hobnobbing with them happily, I was once again struck by her natural ability to connect with all kinds of different people immediately. This is such a rare talent (which is not apparent in any of us in the family!) and I hope she will never douse this wonderful ability of her to connect with people as she grows older.

2) Big Bee and I were stung by a giant wasp!
We were exploring the famous Ta Prohm temple which is also known as a jungle temple, nestled mysteriously within trees and lots of colossal roots. Lots of insects and creepy crawlies abounded - we saw huge, fat millipedes, gigantic termite mounds, armies of big ants and strange flying insects.

As we were taking a family portrait, Big Bee suddenly exclaimed in pain and said there was something really sharp in her bag or around the back of her skirt because something pricked her hand. I patted her down, and encountered a sharp, painful sensation on my index finger, almost as if a needle had pricked me. After a few more moments of search, an enormous metallic blue and black wasp/hornet/whatever the gross insect is called crawled out from beneath Big Bee's skirt. YIKES! Thankfully, our guide helped us remove it from her skirt.

The scary part was when Big Bee told me that she was beginning to see psychedelic colours and felt dizzy. I felt a little nauseous and dizzy myself, and attributed it to either shock syndrome or the venom that the wasp injected into our bodies to shock us into temporary immobility.

Whatever it was, we both felt better after a while, although the swollen insect bites stayed with us for more than a week!

I know these two encounters probably did not encapsulate the Cambodian experience well, but these were some of the more memorable and personal moments for me. I am writing another post on what I truly love about Siem Reap - being like Indiana Jones, exploring the nooks and crannies of myriad temple ruins!