Colours Of Nature: Complete Solitude

There is a place in Singapore where there is no one to be seen for miles, where we can be surrounded by carpets of lush grass and verdant giants, where our ears are privy to the hushed chirps of hidden birds, where silence is ... well ... almost deafening.

This place is none other than Kent Ridge Park! 

We chanced upon it one Sunday morning, and were amazed at how deserted the entire park was. We were filled with wonder at the sight of colossal trees with mangled branches overgrown with moss - clear signs of old age. 

Most of all, we cherished how alone our little family was - a rare occurrence in overcrowded Singapore. We ambled along endless paths without meeting a soul, we climbed up and down precarious grassy slopes, and we fiddled with the many fitness stations that look so forlorn and lonely in the park. 

We learned about yet another slice of Singapore's history in the tumultuous World War 2 era. 

And we had a bird's eye view of our busy port, perched right at the top of one of Singapore's rare hills. 

It was a rejuvenating morning where we escaped into another side of Singapore. We ended our little excursion with succulent pratas for lunch - a gratifying conclusion to a peaceful morning of discovery. We will be back for sure :) 

World War 2 sites in Singapore. How many have you been to? As World War 2 buffs, we had visited more than half of these sites...just to keep in touch with the battle-torn Singapore of yore. 

PSLE and CCAs

OK, I know I just put 2 incredible acronyms into the title of this post, which might be baffling for some! For those who do not already know, PSLE = Primary School Leaving Examinations in Singapore and CCAs = Co-curricular (or extra-curricular) activities.

I cannot believe that this year is Big Bee's PSLE year and I guess I am still in denial. Whenever people found out that I have a kid going through PSLE this year, their responses would invariably be, "You must be very stressed!" or "You must be very busy revising with her!". However, fortunately (or unfortunately), I am not stressed, neither am I busy revising with her! In fact, work takes up so much of my time now that I really hope fervently she knows what she is doing on her own.

But this post is not about how we are managing the PSLE, although the real answer to that is that we are doing the same things as per previous years. We are still planning for movies and musicals to watch and places to go to on weekends, and I am still planning for vacations in June!

This post is about how much I believe in a well-rounded education for our children, and a bit about my anger when I see parents in Singapore pushing their kids to a wholly academic path, just to get good grades in key examinations like the PSLE. To me, every kid has only one year in their lives when they are 12 - that milestone threshold between being a big kid and a teen, that year of awakening when they have more mature perspectives, that year of awareness and realisation of their changing bodies and increasing curiosity about sexuality and non-platonic relationships. And yet, sadly, in Singapore, it is also the year of the PSLE.

I heard of parents forcing their children to drop all CCAs in Primary 6, and worse still, schools advocating this policy! I heard of parents doubling up on tuition, just to have a last burst to drill their kids. And worst of all, I heard of parents artificially pushing their kids' musical, sports or leadership positions in school, just so they can get a bid at the Direct School Admissions (DSA) exercise - when passions are overlooked for a tangible outcome of getting into their preferred schools.

For Big Bee, she is still as active in school and non-academic classes as before. She wanted to have a break from ballet in school this year, despite her past achievements in this CCA, and despite the many requests from her disappointed ballet teacher who had been incessantly telling her to stay on. I guess this is a phase of exploration for her as well, where she wants to get out of her comfort zone and be challenged in things that she had not always been doing.

So, she told me she wanted to try out in the trials for softball and netball, where they are looking for people in the school team. Being naturally athletic (not my genes!), she made it through the trials and into the school teams of both netball and softball. She chose netball in the end, for the kind of bonded teamwork and competition associated with it. And just yesterday, she was inaugurated into the school netball team!

Playing for the school team takes a lot of time and effort, of which many primary 6 mothers (including my own mother) frowned upon, who kept asking me if she would be better off studying and revising, instead of spending 6 to 7 hours a week after school to train for netball competitions. Sometimes, these questions got me worried - am I too relaxed? Is she falling behind in studies because of the crazy amount of time spent in practice, after which she will come home, too fatigued to do much work? Questions that frankly, after peer pressure from other mothers, make me question my objectives of encouraging her to take on a time-consuming sport in her PSLE year. Some mothers did ask me, "Why not chess club where they meet once a week and where their brains can be stimulated?" or "Why not Math or Science Olympiads because some schools prefer kids from the Olympiad programmes for their DSA!"

And recently, questions arose from Big Bee herself, "Mummy, why are you not putting me in English and Science tuition? Maybe they can help me boost my PSLE score!" (She had never had Science tuition before, and only went on less than a year of English tuition in primary 4, after which we stopped). Kiasu her even questioned why I am planning for a June holiday when she prefers to revise for the PSLE throughout the whole holiday! Swirling, disturbing questions. And I must admit, I am swayed sometimes.

Yet, I am glad that Big Bee's school is a holistic one, and I have fellow mothers there who are still putting their children through CCAs that are non-academic in nature, even in the PSLE year. And most of us have the same approach to PSLE - take it easy and "see how it goes." I am really thankful for that support of like-minded mothers.

I guess what I am trying to say in this blog post is to allow our kids to really pursue their passions in whatever things they request, for them to try new things, and get out of their comfort zones - even at the expense of time that could be spent on studies. Every time she is back from her netball practice, glowing with adrenaline but fatigued by the hours of competitive sportsmanship, I would tell myself that this is a right decision.

And I think as parents, it is important for us to put forth lots of calm and composure in front of our kids before major examinations. So that they understand there is more to life than academic achievements. Big Bee and I have had long discussions this year about many "what-ifs". There is a lot of emphasis from their teachers about academic achievements, and the biggest "what-if" question from her was, "What if I did badly in the PSLE?" which to me, is a masked question for "Will you still love me?". So, as parents, so long as we assure our kids about our complete acceptance and love for them, regardless of whatever they achieve, I think that gives them enough confidence to stride on in this world, especially in a cruel world where there are increasingly more depression cases amongst children.

人强马壮，龙马精神

As I grow older, I begin to appreciate and cherish the intricate rituals of Chinese New Year. How festivities and routines are completely similar year after year. How our elderly relatives ask the same old questions year after year. These grew more endearing to me these days, reaffirming just how precious family ties are. 

We are lucky to have very close bonds with all our relatives and family members. Which is why we had 8 family gatherings and visits over the first week of Chinese New Year - and enjoyed every single moment of these. The girls got to know 4 sides of their different families from Hubby's and my family trees, and they delighted in getting to know their great-grandmothers, grandparents, uncles, aunties and cousins more. Little Bee is the one who really looks forward to such gatherings, and would often feel sad whenever these occasions come to an end. She would not fail to entertain everyone with her outspoken antics and her comical expressions! 

Big Bee, on the other hand, is now a little adult. She had stopped playing with the little kids totally (much to Little Bee's distress) and had become more self-conscious. Most of the time, her nose is buried in her current favourite book (which is the Divergent series by Veronica Roth for now). Other times, she would join the adults for some casual chatting. She is in an in-between stage, and is finding her way around, yet enjoying the process, which I am relieved about.

This year, we also visited Chinatown in early January, where we were privy to the celebrations of the Chinatown light-up. We did not even plan for it, so we were pleasantly surprised to hear the deafening firecrackers and be dazzled by fireworks exploding in the skies just above us. Most of all, we enjoyed eating super yummy food in the Chinatown hawker centre and strolling around in the nostalgic People's Park. 

On the eve of Chinese New Year, we had a sumptuous and festive reunion dinner with the girls' great-grandmothers. How rare it is to have a four-generational reunion dinner! That is so special in every way. 

As we wind down from these convivial celebrations, I constantly have to remind myself not to limit our interactions with the extended families just to an annual New Year gathering. Let's hope we get to see more of our family members this Horse year!