Ebullient Eight

Dear Big Bee, 

In the blink of an eye, you are fast approaching your tweens. I cannot even begin to utter my incredulous disbelief that you are fast approaching a double digit age group. For Mummy will always regard you as my first baby girl forever. 

I will always remember that night in 2001, seemingly not that long ago in my mind's eye, when I held up the omniscient pregnancy indicator - with positive results. I remembered delaying the test, just so I could be living in a willing state of illusion. I remembered almost crying when I saw the positive results because Papa and I had only been married for barely 9 months, because I was barely 28 years old, because...because I just wanted to enjoy life as it is - liberated, unshackled and carefree. 

Truthfully, I must admit, I was not ready for motherhood when you decided to reside as a little foetus in my stomach. And despite the positive test, I lived in denial for the first trimester. 

Until I felt those tiny, ethereal butterfly flutterings deep within the recesses of my womb during the 2nd trimester. Until I felt those apologetic, finespun taps from within my stomach - no kicks from you, my dear, never huge motions when you were warmly ensconced in my tummy. As if you knew better than to jolt me abruptly into the reality of your presence. 

And I began to feel a powerful, wonderful, exquisite connection with you. An indelible bonding that propagates stronger and stronger, growing rapidly into an omnipotent nexus that we share between ourselves now. 

And when I first saw you emerging from my womb finally, your little body still speckled with bloodstains, eyes closed, mouth agape with soft, bewildered infant wailings, my heart swelled, my throat constricted with a lump so gigantic I could hardly breathe nor swallow, and my eyes welled up with overwhelmed tears. 

And I knew then - you and me - we will be together for eternity, sharing a bond so deep, so boundless that nothing can tear us apart. 

That was my initiation into motherhood - an overpowering experience that you blessed me with in an understated mien. 

And that was how you are throughout your 8 years of life - intuitive, sensitive, sensible, practical, responsible and mature. Right from those inconspicuous, unobtrusive movements - never kicks, I must stress again - within my womb. 

You are not one who relish too much attention on you, yet your traits have compelled you to be at the forefront of things. You are a perfectionist, eager to excel in everything you lay your hands on, meticulous and conscientious. You will ensure that you do everything well - from academic performance, to sports, to music, to dance, to art. A perfect daughter and ideal student who brings very little trouble and much joy to your parents and teachers. 

But I feel I must reassure you that perpetual success is not always essential, that sometimes, it is perfectly fine to show your weaknesses to others, that it is not always important to show others only your strong facade. 

You said something that lifted my heart last week - that you treat Mummy as your best friend. And I will always want to be your best friend, your staunch companion, your girly gossip partner in whichever stage of life you are at - supporting you, standing behind you always. So that you will know unto infinity that there is always someone for you to seek solace with. 

You are not highly expressive with your affections, but your little actions show how much you love us. You never forget a single birthday of ours. You always make beautiful little gifts that touch our hearts on our special days. And last night, I discovered that you cut out some silly doodle and comment that Mummy made on your spelling book, and you wrote "From Mummy" on the cut-out, hiding this little scrap in your drawer. Then I realise how important my actions and expressions are to you. 

You never asked for too much - always understanding, always sensitive. I will always remember how you reassured me that you do not need any pocket money for school because you do not wish to squander the money buying senseless paraphernalia from the bookshop. You will always remind me to save up all your angpow money in your bank, but with no demands on how you will use these funds. 

You are extremely loyal and popular with your friends. And it is inevitable that you must have showcased some subtle form of leadership amongst your friends because you are constantly surrounded by friends who crave for your attention. You are always thrust into the limelight of public speaking and lead roles in performances because teachers perpetually tell me they love having you as a student. Yet you do not revel in such recognition, preferring to be low profile, ideally hiding in the shadows, but that never happens to you in reality. 

You, my dear darling Big Bee, is an absolute gift who literally transforms my life forever. 

Happy 8th birthday, young lady - may we be best friends forever.