A Day Of Happiness And Joy!

The day that my family and I had been waiting for has finally arrived! My one and only younger brother is getting married! And I thought I would never see this day, after seeing him wade through the oceans of so many trials and tribulations. 

The celebration started the eve before the wedding, as per our family tradition, with my mum's sisters and brothers, together with my cousins and hence, the Bees' cousins, gathering at my mum's house, absorbing the pre-wedding day excitement and anticipation. The cousins (young and older!) had great fun bonding together as usual!

The troupe of cousins having a blast: (from left) Big Bee, Chloe, Little Bee and Val. 

The following morning, I dressed the Bees up enthusiastically - Big Bee in her long, white wedding-like dress and Little Bee in a long, red frilly halter dress. We then set forth to my mum's house to welcome the bridal party and the tea ceremony.

While waiting, I had such wonderful time catching up and chatting with my uncles, aunts and cousins from both sides of the family. Family ties are very important in my family and I had grown up with close bonds with most of my cousins.

 

Tada!! The arrival of the gorgeous bride and groom, together with their entire wedding party! 

My brother and sister-in-law looked radiant and positively beaming with pure beatitude. My sister-in-law glowed with happiness and looked so beautiful in her bridal dress and "kua". 

There was a touching moment when my sister-in-law shed tears as my mum presented her with the "four pieces of gold" in Teochew tradition. The entire family just stared on in moved silence. 

I guess in Chinese tradition, there is little or no privacy during festive events like this! Relatives were opening the door to the bridal chamber at all times, or milling outside their bedroom door, gawking at the bride and groom unashamedly. :)

Mum, Dad and the newly weds for the tea ceremony

Little Bee's turn to "serve" jiu-jiu virtual tea and to get her ang pow from the couple! 

Big Bee and Jiu-Ma in her beautiful Chinese tradition costume "kua"

We had a slight reprieve in the afternoon where we rested for a little while before dressing up and headed towards Orchard Parade Hotel for the wedding dinner. The Bees were decked to the nines with Big Bee in a enthralling red and white dress with a sash and rose petals in the chiffon layers of her dress. Little Bee wore a similar (but shorter) dress, in pretty pink and with similar red rose petals sprinkled in the loose layers of the dress. 

Big Bee told me, "Mummy, the funnest part of dinners is dressing up. I looooovvve to dress up in beautiful dresses!" And Little Bee kept telling me, "I want wear nice nice!" Goodness, the stress of having 2 vain little girls! 

Little Bee had a terrible two moment, just before leaving the house, by deciding adamantly on wearing her weekend sandals with her dinner dress! Throughout the entire dinner, we could not sway her mind away from her sandals, which she claimed fervently to me, "Nice nice shoes!!!" with a pout. 

Stage entertainment for the night :)

Hubby and I were the emcees for the wedding and I had written a script with some sisterly tidbits of information that I hope would add a bit more meaning to the wedding. Hence, I was really super excited the entire day! However, on hindsight, I really enjoyed hosting my brother's wedding :) 

Cake cutting - happiness forever! 

The wedding dinner buzz was intoxicating, with so many extended family members whom I had not seen in a long time. Hubby and I were on stage most of the time at the start of the dinner. It was so fulfilling to see the fruition of all my brother's and sister-in-law's planning, and everything flowed with perfect precision and glorious emotions.

Dramatic entrance in the bride's dazzling evening gown with the stunning head piece!

Confetti galore! 

My brother gave a stirring speech, thanking almost everyone in his life and making my mum cry (again!). Not just my mum cried, but also some of our aunties in the dinner! Wedding speeches are indeed emotive and heart-rending. 

Mum dabbing tears of joy

My sister-in-law read him a beautiful poem about love - with tears trickling from her eyes and voice quivering. We were all entranced by this poignant display of unabashed love. 

Looking at them reaffirms my belief that love can indeed transcend everything - race, religion and many other barriers. Theirs is a love with much challenges from the beginning, and it certainly fills my heart, knowing that they are now united in a marriage made in heaven :) 

A phrase that my brother told me in their early days together is indelible from my mind. He told me then, "I had never felt so happy with any one before!" And with her, he smiles more, laughs more. This is the true repercussion of love! 

PS: Living in this era of digital photography is mind-boggling. Every significant moment (like tea ceremony, entrance of couple, etc) was captured by a plethora of different digital cameras by all the wedding guests, so unlike my time! Hence, it was fantastic to see photo angles from different guests and different perspectives. Thanks to all my cousins for taking many photos and posting them on their blogs and Facebook!

And a special thanks to my cousin Tan Zexun whose photographs are featured in this blog entry. He makes a wonderful photographer! You can see more of his photos on the wedding in his blog here. 

And you can see Candice's blog on the wedding here as well :) 

Thanks cuzzies! 

Reward After The Toil

Celebrating her 7th birthday at home last month

Big Bee's exams were over yesterday! Yippee! We both felt relieved and relaxed - for her, she can play non-stop without having the worry of exams at the back of her mind. For me, I can finally relax without having to juggle with forcing Big Bee to do mock exams at home, marking her work, revising through her corrections and entertaining Little Bee who also wants to be part of the study party! 

I was greeted with the sweetest and cheeriest of smiles when I picked Big Bee up from school yesterday. She told me a classmate of hers was caught for copying from a spelling book. Lots of drama unfolded with the form teacher and the 2 vice-principals while they were in their second half of the paper. But I am glad the school took pains in inculcating the right values by enforcing such strict discipline. I really love hearing such school gossip from Big Bee everyday!

As for Little Bee, she was so excited about the whole fetching jie-jie episode that she woke at 6.30am just to follow us to school, and refused to nap at noon because she wanted to follow us to fetch jie-jie home from school! She told me "I want 'Hello Jie Jie' in school!" which meant she wanted to fetch jie-jie and say hello to her. Hmph. She seemed to know how to take note of time by milestone events, eg, after lunch means fetching jie-jie from school. 

When Little Bee was napping in the afternoon (finally!), I brought Big Bee to remove her stitches and rewarded her with a sweet treat (she picked a gorgeous strawberry shortcake) at Borders, as well as 3 story books from her favourite "Rainbow Magic" series. It was a wonderful time spent alone with her, chitter chattering about school and friends and rejoicing in the fact that exams are over!

Some old photos of her eye which had since healed, except for a reddish scar. We are applying a scar cream to prevent permanent scarring.

Trotting on Blaze, the horse who went cantering then galloping, thus resulting in her fall without stirrups

Learning At Home: Red

As I will be at home for 1.5 months and as Little Bee is not attending school yet, I took this opportunity to homeschool Little Bee in the mornings, when Big Bee is away in school. 

I usually try to have a different theme each day whenever she has "lessons", and she lapped up the rare individualised attention very well. 

The lessons are usually about 2 hours long, with a lot of free expression, and I usually have different activities to entertain her daily because Little Bee's attention span is very short. 

For the first day, the theme was "Red" and I let her dabbled in red scribblings and red paint. We created a red bus, and went hunting around my estate and playground for red things.

All ready for a red painting session!

And on another day when the sky was brewing with a thunderstorm, I decided to adapt that morning's lesson to the weather, so we learned about "rainy days". I read an online book about rain drops to her, explained where rain came from, and I cut out big clouds for her to paste onto a drawing paper and got her to draw a rainy day picture. Oh, and we sang a couple of rain-related songs for music and movement - "The Raindrop Song" and "Rain rain, go away"!

It's pretty fun and I am glad to have this time alone, together with her!

Little Bee's creations

1. Free play - red scribblings before her "red" lesson began. She has a fetish about drawing faces and claimed the long tube-like thing in the picture is a snake. 

2. I cut out a red bus from spongy red paper and drew the door. She pasted the windows and wheels onto the bus all by herself, and was playing with the bus for a pretty long time!

3. Red painting done completely by Little Bee. She also has a fixation with the letter "A", so you see a couple of "As" and a balloon face in the painting.

4. Rainy day picture. I cut out the blue clouds which she pasted onto a drawing paper. She drew blue and red (!?) raindrops as well as a walking man and her usual "A". She told me she drew an umbrella which was that strange-looking thing beside the man. 

The Calm Before The Storm

This long weekend was a taxing yet halcyon one. A strange juxtaposition, I know. It was taxing because I forced the family to stay home with no programmes as it will be Big Bee's first mid-year exams this week. So, I need to devote plenty of free time and energy for revision. 

Hence, Big Bee had her plate all full with mock exam papers, assessment books and homework, on top of revising through her corrections. These days, the primary one work is no longer like the elementary stuff in our time. The vocabulary, grammar, mathematical sums and Mandarin words are rather profound.

Yet, we took this opportunity to spend a restful weekend with the Bees with minimal distraction. Hubby bought a pair of baby hamsters for them, much to Big Bee's delight. She named them Jerry and Nibbles, after the Tom & Jerry cartoon show. 

I took the opportunity to experiment with Western-style dishes, which are never my forte. For Saturday's dinner, instead of the usual stir-fried dishes and double-boiled soups, I decided to whip up a dinner of hearty rib-eyed steak with mushroom soup and fries. It was a hit with Hubby, Big Bee and my helper, but I do not really fancy meaty meals!

 

And on Sunday, we took the Bees out for a long lunch and coffee. These days, the Bees will chatter loads, so when we were eating, Hubby and I could truly sit back and listen to the Bees yak non-stop about everything under the sun. We usually have a warm and fuzzy feeling in our hearts, seeing them so chirpy and happy.

 

It was truly enjoyable and relaxing, before we are back to the grind of exam preparation. I must say Big Bee took to the revisions very well, and was game to complete her work. Like I kept telling her, after this week, she can play for all she wants! Gosh, I do sound like my parents these days :)

A Grill Party

When in Singapore, do as the Singaporeans do. Which is eat. And that was what we did in sizzling style 2 Saturdays ago, with a grill party at our place. YL and SB brought their entire brood of children over, so we had a total of 6 girls and 1 little boy in this merry little party!  

The men were the chefs that night, hovering over our outdoor grill in the balcony, concocting heavenly seared delights for us. Hubby and I went to Huber's Butchery earlier in the day to grab some succulent meats for this home BBQ, and we weren't disappointed. Their meats were wonderfully marinated with perfect cuts and divine textures. Yum! 

The menu was a mouthwatering, luscious treat: we had mutton satays, hamburgers with the juiciest beef patties, springy cuttlefish balls and enticing corn on the cob. We also prepared fried bee hoon and red-hot nonya chicken curry, which were largely consumed by the hungry, gossiping mummies while the daddies were hard at work in the sweltering balcony! The satays and hamburgers were a hit with the kids. Finally, we washed down all the piquant cuisine with a bottle of satisfying and mellow Sauvignon Blanc. 

We were stuffed full with such delectable foods! 

The kids were happier than the adults. We could see two distinct cliques - the older gang, comprising of Big Bee, Joanne and Jeslyn, who played so well together, giggling, chatting and hanging out on the upper deck of the Bee's double-decked bed. 

Big Bee hanging out with Joanne. With Little Bee trying to join their big-girl gang at some points. 

And the younger gang, consisting of Little Bee, Sherilyn, Joleen and Marcus. They played alongside each other with all the Bees' toys and got along really harmoniously. 

1. Little Charlie's Angels - Little Bee, Sherilyn, Joleen. Aren't they adorable? 2. The 4 little kids - Little Bee, Joleen, Sherilyn and Marcus - playing with Thomas the Train. 3. Big Bee, Joanne and Jeslyn playing a fool on the double decked bed! 

We planned to have such get-togethers more often, as it was really so enjoyable and comfortable, ensconced in our home, away from the crowds outside, especially in these uncertain times. 

Goodbye, Galaxy

Our first family hamster, Galaxy, passed on this morning. Our helper discovered it under the staircase in the basement of its enclosure, deathly still and lifeless, yet serene. I observed Galaxy in her resting posture for a long time, silently bading farewell to her and thankful that she seemed to depart in a peaceful and painless mien. 

She came into our family around April 12 last year, as a present for Big Bee's 6th birthday. She grew fatter and fatter with each passing month. She was still gargantuan, like a hulking matriarch, a couple of months back, when Big Bee and I observed that she could barely fit into her little hamster tower. 

Yet, in the past month, I started noticing her gradual reduction in size. She became scrawnier, less active. No more of the nocturnal squeaky sounds emitting from her hamster wheel that accompanied me when I was on the computer until late at night. Her usually thick, fluffy and hale creamy fur became more unkempt and thinner. Soon, her gaunt self became alarming and just on Sunday night, I noticed that she had difficulty climbing up the stairs to the second level of her house. 

I started warning Big Bee that the end is nigh for Galaxy, as she is getting old. She accepted this with sadness and quiet resignation, and was hence not overly distraught when she discovered Galaxy's death after school.

Once pets age, that downhill process will be rapid. I had 2 beloved dogs, Vicki and Boy Boy, whose elderly selves were mere diluted shadows of their glorious and vivacious youth. Peace be with them now. And to Galaxy too.

In the meantime, Pebbles Junior, that stray hamster whom we adopted early this year, is healthy and well. It is putting on weight now (I could not decipher if it is a male or female hamster) and becoming more and more active. I always stare at it in wonder, amazed at how a single act of easy help can save it from the clutches of possible fatality.  

Desaru

Perfect combination - azure skies, mocha sands and tenacious waves

We went to Desaru over the long Easter weekend and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, despite all the bad reviews online. I guess so long as we all spent bonding time as a family, a holiday anywhere in the world would be nothing short of fantastic. 

Some pivotal moments that are so memorable to us:

1) There's always something magical about the beginning of any odyssey. The sense of anticipation. Wondering about the unknown. The ecstatic expressions on the Bees' faces. Departing in a ferry on a sea of sparkling emerald green with glowing sunrays on our faces. The wind tinged with sea salt on our faces.

 

Ahoy, mate! Setting sail for Desaru! 

2) We all love the beach and spent hours in the windswept seafront with tempestuous waves. We held on tight to the Bees and played thrilling catch with the furiously crashing waves. The Bees always shrieked with pure excitement with every surge of wave. We combed miles of the beach, amazed by the gorgeous remnants of the mighty waves - smooth, round pebbles in all sizes, colours and textures! The pure beauty and power of nature's creative hands is so evident in the pebbles...you can literally glance at it and see the world in that singular granule.

Footprints in the sand...Papa's and Big Bee's footprints (top) with Little Bee eagerly following their footsteps, literally (bottom)

Romantic, isn't it? Papa and Big Bee spending quality time together, staring into the horizon...

3) Big Bee playing a vigorous game of beach soccer with Papa. It was exhilarating to see her take to the game so well. According to Papa, the score was 10-8 with Big Bee emerging as the champion!! Hmm...women's soccer team next? Little Bee also had fun dribbling the ball on the sand! 

4) Showing the girls how fruits look like in their natural state in the sweltering fruit farm tour. They were surprised (so was I!) to see that the dragonfruit plant consists of mere meandering vines, and loved drinking the ruby red Ribena-like roselle drink.

 

5) Venturing into an animal farm of sorts with an eclectic mix of animals - ostriches, owls, chickens, monkeys and rabbits. Nevertheless, the Bees were thrilled by the display of animals. 

6) The highlight of the getaway for me would be the fireflies tour, where we were plunged into complete darkness in a mysterious, dense mangrove swamp with the luminous full moon as a bewitching backdrop. The Lilliputian twinkling lights of the fireflies completed the magic. The Bees observed the ritual of nature in hushed apotheosis. 

7) I also love the fact that this was such a relaxing getaway that we had infinite opportunities to try many things....Big Bee learning table tennis, Little Bee eating all kinds of buffet foods, Big Bee winning the prize for the hotel's hula hoop contest.

The Bees chomping on their breakfasts

Although this was a mere getaway in a neighbouring country, nothing beats quality family time spent in long, languid hours of pure relaxation.

Happy babes!

Almost Normal

Thank you for the well wishes from so many friends. We were infinitely touched by your care and concern.

Big Bee is almost back to normal now. She went back to school on Thursday amidst much trepidation. She was worried that her friends will laugh at her still bruised eye and bloodied eyeball. She expressed much fear that they will not be her friends. Hubby told her bluntly that the friends who laughed at her are not her true friends. I asked her if she will ever laugh at her best friends if they fall down. She said "no", and we told her she is a true friend. I am not sure if she understands the concept of "true friends" henceforth, but she seemed reassured. 

I accompanied Big Bee all the way up to her classroom to be her bedrock of strength and support. 4 of her friends were in the classroom. One of them uttered Big Bee's name excitedly upon seeing her, and another girl, Phoebe, rushed from one end of the classroom to embrace Big Bee tightly. An emerging smile was evident on Big Bee's face. 

I told the girls, "Big Bee fell down from a horse and she had to go to the hospital to sew 2 stitches on her eye. That's why her eye is so red and bruised!" I was greeted with 4 pairs of big shocked eyes from the girls. In spite of all Big Bee's fears that she will be rejected due to an "ugly eye", all the girls started milling around Big Bee, examining her eye. Shortly after, I was shooed off by Big Bee when they all adjourned for the morning assembly. 

I watched with smiling felicity as the girls walked off. I overheard one of them telling another girl who joined them, "Big Bee fell off a horse!" and Big Bee's cheeky grin as she swung quickly back into her social school life, asking loudly, "How do you know!"

I sneaked to the morning assembly and hid behind a pillar to see if she was alright. I saw many of her friends milling around her. One girl gestured an action of riding on a horse. I also observed another girl, Jeslyn, peering intensely into Big Bee's eye and then hugging her elatedly and happily. And the thing I was awaiting for appeared - a sunny beam of a smile from Big Bee's face and her chatting animatedly with her friends. 

I walked away with the sun in my heart and delight on my face. 

A Papa's Recollection Of The Horrifying Incident

Nothing can sum up the word "fear" in all my years that I had lived. It was the scariest moment that I had encountered till date. Now I understand how and why parents are so nervous and anxious about their kids (like when the moments my mum restricted my joining the school's prestigious rugby team and my dad refusing to let me buy a motor bike when I was 21 years old).

I am not the old-schooled parent who refuse to let their kids try new activities (probably due to my personal experience). I had always thought a few falls and abrasions here and there will help build up the kid's own personal learning space and experience.

One defining moment changed my perception forever.

Imagine this : you see your kid hitting a pole at high-speed, on the ground bleeding and crying...and you are helpless. All you wished for at that moment is to run back the clock and wished you've made certain decisions carefully - like whether I should have allowed my child to learn horse-riding despite going against the wants of my kid.

The recollection of the horrifying incident is not something that you can control when a shocking thing happened. It comes to your mind all so suddenly and every now and then. Just today (1 day after it had happened), the flashback happened at least 5 times and the "what-ifs" worse case scenarios had happened instead.

I was there outside the riding arena happily filming and taking photos of Big Bee periodically. She was smiling whenever she rode past me and even smiled coyly at me when she saw me taking her picture. That was before it happened. So quickly.

The scene moved from a quiet afternoon to absolute turmoil and I was placed instantly into a conundrum situation. I barely saw her horse rushing at full speed towards the barricade and Big Bee being flung off her horse and hearing Ruby her trainer shout some gibberish outbursts. Next thing I knew I saw the back of Ruby sitting on the floor and impeding my view of my little girl. I saw Ruby clutching her shirt and seemingly wiping something off - at first, I thought it was perspiration but when she did a few more times, it struck me that it was definitely something more serious.

I shouted at the trainer as she was still impeding my view and I was desperate for an answer. "Hey Ruby, is she OK?". "Oh, she's fine...she's just winded". I did not believe her. I shouted and insisted that I be let into the ring. I ran probably the fastest ever and when I reached her side - I saw my bubbly girl turned into a sight of blood and tears. She was on the floor with blood streaming out from the side of her eyes and let me tell you this - at that moment - you won't know where the injury is and what to do. I simply asked her "Are you alright, dear?" which I knew was the silliest, most-assuring thing I could conjure up.

She did not answer me. Or maybe she did by sobbing uncontrollably. The trainer was trying to be assuring by saying " don't worry, you won't be a horse-rider till you fall off at least 10 times".
My foot. What BS. What insensitive thing to say.

The trainer was hapless. What I summoned up was something I never knew I had...putting the most courageous front to then ask for a first aid kit so that I could apply pressure on her eye to prevent blood from getting further into her vision. So many people gawked at both Papa and Big Bee rushing from one area to another all this while.

I rushed her to Thompson Medical Center emergency but the doctors there told me to go to another hospital where they had better facilities like KK Hospital. Before I fumed off, my remarks to the young barely out of his adulthood doctor was "In that case, Thompson Medical Center should not have an emergency ward but should be called a 24 hour clinic". This would be less misleading to the public. And a side thought that ran up while moving off to KK Hospital - I am sure there are some who were in need of desparate medical treatment being mislead by hospitals having emergency wards. All this while, my Big Bee's eye was still bleeding.

Then, came the shocker. Big Bee told me along the way that her spine (in the middle section) was painful. It's one thing to have blood on your kid's eye and definitely another notch-up in adrenaline to have another spinal cord injury. You try not to think of the worst but the at the same time, you think of it to prepare yourself for the worst.

When we reached KKH, we were again told to wait in line. Stupid system - take a number (which I did - number 345 and they were calling out 307, 308) and wait for your turn. By the way, there were at least 30-40 people in front of us. Big Bee's bleeding had not stopped but has reduced significantly by now...still a case for my concern. No seats, her back was painful, I had to do something.

I went to the counter nurses and shouted loudly in front of all those people (mostly fever cases) that my kid needed help to stop the blood flow into her eye immediately. Can someone please attend to her first...I will wait in line but it makes sense to help bandage her wound first right? I had to ask for their bosses for this to happen. And mind you, it takes a few arguments with logic to finally get them do the necessary. Even the person with a sick child behind me was asking the nurse and doctor to attend to my daughter first.

Big Bee was crying a bit here and then while we were for our turn for the doctor checkup and X-Ray. She was more afraid of staying over at the hospital overnight and kept asking me to be at her side. Papa, I don't want to stay overnight here. Please stay with me, OK? I realized that I am the only person that she could rely on at that moment and could not let her down. I calmly told her not to worry and she would be home before she knew it...kept saying calm things like "Papa also had such football injuries before", "a small cut", "go home later and have dinner and a nice bath". I still am unaware of the results of the X-Ray of her spinal cord and the final diagnose of her eye injury.

When her turn came, a Doctor Ng added to my woes. He asked mechanical questions like a Gorblock, blur Sotong, stoner book worm - least re-assuring to my already panicking daughter. He frightened her by saying that he needed to stitch her wound (I think Big Bee's mind must be thinking at the moment of needles and the pain factor"...either his command of English is not too good for a doctor or he is simply insensitive by not para-phrasing.

But the most ridiculous thing was that he said that he needed to apply something like a LA or GA (not clear to me what was what that he had mumbled" but his recommendation was to put my little Big Bee to sleep for an hour while they stitch her eye wound up. To my horror, I asked whether I am entitled to another opinion - he gave the "you don't believe me - I am the doctor look". What I really meant was to have my wife involved in this important decision. Putting my daughter to sleep was not one of the things that I want to agree to. And to agree to alone.

I asked my wife to come into the room (she was with my other little Bee outside the ward). My wife is the most intelligent woman I ever met and she managed to convince this doctor to use a less dangerous approach to have numbing cream and panadol (pain-killer) approach instead of an easy way out - using GA/LA. As a family, it dawned on me that it was absolutely important to have intelligent spouse to help each other in times of need, complementing each other.

Her back is OK and the stitching went well. I was so relieved that everything is OK. Whenever I look at Big Bee now, I simply cannot help wondering what if the pole (fence) had hit her eyeball or her spine is really injured, anything could happened if it moved a few inches to the left or right...the possibilities scare me...then both my wife and myself will never forgive ourselves for putting our child into such dangerous situations.

Riding No More

Big Bee had been learning horseback riding since she was 5, simply because she loves horses. However, after today, she would have no more riding lessons.

For she fell from her regular horse, Blaze, during a riding class at 5.30pm just now, and suffered a bad cut to her eye as well as a severe bruise around the eye. We spent a good 4 hours in the emergency section of KK Hospital, and I must say she had been a brave girl, with just a few brief outbursts of tears, naturally. Hubby was at the riding class (I was at home with Little Bee) so he was the one putting up a courageous front, dabbing the initial outpour of blood and trauma from Big Bee. I am thankful that he maintained a facade of composure in front of Big Bee, although as parents, our first reactions would be a conspicuous panic attack.

She went through a couple of stitches for the cut on her eyelid, holding onto my hand, closing her eyes and without knowing that the doctor was administering stitches to her. I simply told her the doctor and nurses were washing the wound on her eyelid. Thanks also to the local anaesthetic cream that they applied on her eye and a dosage of Paracetamol to suppress the pain. The doctors and nurses were also wonderful in distracting her by chatting about her school and her missing 2 front teeth. She only complained of itchiness as I witnessed the stitches going through her skin. The normally squeamish me put up a false front of bravado and explained every single step of what the doctor was doing to her (minus the stitches, of course!), and that calmed her down considerably.

Poor Little Bee was hanging outside in the oppressive heat (the emergency room was too packed with sick children!), first with me during the long waiting time, then with Hubby as Big Bee was going through her stitches. But she brought a sense of temporary reprieve for us from our overwhelming anxiety and overbearing melancholy - with her innocence and laughter. I told her, "Jie Jie fell down from a horse, you know" and she looked at me with shocked big eyes and a questioning "huh?", before uttering "Jie Jie pain pain!". When she first saw Big Bee, who cried the moment she saw me walk into the emergency room, her little nose turned red as well, her sparkling eyes glistened with emerging tears and she sayanged Big Bee by stroking her hair. Sweetness indeed.

We are stopping Big Bee's equestrian activities as these are deemed as high risk for children her age. And no riding lessons for Little Bee as well. Big Bee had always been lauded by her riding instructors as an excellent rider. Which was why they are always trying to push her that little bit further, that miniscule step more, without really knowing if she could handle it or not. Today's accident arose because her instructor asked her to ride without stirrups, no doubt training her balance. And Blaze suddenly picked up speed from trotting to cantering to galloping within seconds, according to Big Bee, and for a young rider like her without stirrups, she just lost control.

Everything happened so quickly that Hubby and Big Bee still could not really registered what really happened. It brings a chilly shiver up my spine when I realised what a split second could do to change people's lives.

Sometimes, I think, we are always told to push our children to excellence, but there lies such a thin line between excellence and tragedy. A little nudge and off our children may spiral down the other dark, unwanted side. This applies to everything they do in their lives. I think what I really want for them would be happiness, contentment, the right values and most importantly, health.

Fortunately, she had taken an X-ray of her back, and her back and spine seemed fine. She has been given 5 days medical leave from primary school and we had been told to closely monitor her for the next few days.

We all came back at 10.30pm, emotionally drained and physically fatigued. Big Bee was back to her calm and confident self, and she was just very worried about the aesthetic aspects of her bruised and bloodied eye. She was shocked when she first saw herself in the mirror after the stitches. She asked me, "Mummy, do you hate me because I am so ugly?" I told her with full conviction, "No, Mummy will love you no matter how ugly or beautiful you are, and to me, you are always very beautiful." She smiled a little smile.

Hubby also told her, "Big Bee, do not fear horses because of this one incident, ok? This is not the horse's fault at all." And she was somewhat reassured.

When the Bees slept, Hubby and I looked at each other with sad expressions. We compared our similar emotions - wrenched heart, zero appetite, nervous melancholy. And for me, I don't think I could sleep a wink tonight...

So Far So Good

A couple of Saturdays ago, we went to Big Bee's school for a Parent-Teacher Meeting. This meeting was so unlike all the private ones that we attended in her kindergarten. We entered into the primary hall and was greeted by an entire gargantuan hall filled to the brim with rows and rows of teachers with parents. It was a sight akin to an examination hall! There was a waiting area where we waited for our turn while we observed how other parents discussed with fervour about their child's progress with the form teacher. It was all very serious, it seemed!

When it was our turn, I took a back seat and just wanted to hear what her form teacher had to say. The moment she saw us, she declared immediately that Big Bee is "very good". Her work is excellent and her teacher highlighted that Big Bee can read and speak very well. She went on to inform me that Big Bee will be the star performer in the upcoming Speech and Drama concert and that she was impressed that Big Bee can perform so well. As a parent, of course I was delighted to hear such wonderful things from my daughter's teacher.

However, she continued by saying that Big Bee can be a little chatty, chatting at times in class when she should not. I guess this was a practice she acquired in her kindergarten where being articulate at all times was highly approved and encouraged. Sadly, in primary school, she had to follow the teachers' instructions to the dot. Luckily, I felt that Big Bee's form teacher allowed eloquence to a higher tolerance compared to other classes' form teachers. Big Bee was just telling me that a friend of hers was scolded for saying hi to her during assembly. Such is the beginning of a culture of conformity and uniformity.

After the meeting, we strolled around the school campus, with Big Bee proudly showing off her classroom and where she sat to us. It was very encouraging to see her confident, very happy and independent in school. There was a bustling and festive carnival going on in school simultaneously and we had a really fantastic time immersing in the strong school culture with the older school girls enthusiastically marketing their wares. School life is really fun!


The Bees sharing a cup of yogurt in the school canteen. Big Bee is at this awkward age, like most of her friends, where her 2 front teeth had dropped!!


I sneaked to her school and captured a photo of her prize-giving ceremony for being the top 6th in the Primary 1 hula hoop competition. She did not want me to be present at the ceremony for fear of teachers scolding her so I had to hide behind a pillar with Little Bee!

Arty Crafty

The Bees are very into craftwork these days. Big Bee's favourite mantra during the weekends will be "Art & Craft! I want to do Art & Craft now!" She would choose to stay indoors and create some crafts rather than a jaunt in the park, which may not necessarily be a good thing.

Little Bee will take out her toddler craft book and browsed through the pages, furrowing her brows, deep in concentration on selecting what to do...pointing at this page "I want PIG!" to that page "I want BOAT!", never making up her mind with the plethora of selection.

I had since stopped buying toys as they seem to enjoy creating things so much more. Doing craftwork together also helps them work in harmony and fosters teamwork, which is something I am desperate to build up, given the constant battles at home these days! It is also good to initiate Little Bee, who is still not attending school, to some semblance of "schoolwork" and learning.

Hardworking Bees working in full cooperation together...although they do fight over the scissors and glue!

Recently, the Bees created a very simple jellyfish (their unanimous choice!) from everyday materials like paper plates, coloured and crepe paper. After completing their creations, they were happily playing with the respective jellyfishes, bobbing them around and blowing their paper tentacles against the fan for almost an hour!

We also took this opportunity to talk to Big Bee more about jellyfishes (not that I know much about them!) and to teach Little Bee about the letter "J" and its phonic sound.

Happy jellyfishes: The left one is Big Bee's, the right one is Little Bee's. She originally stuck a downturn mouth onto the jellyfish!

And last Sunday, Big Bee and I experimented in making this magic card...where you can pull out this black and white picture drawn by Big Bee, and voila! The pull-out card is in full glorious colour ;) Big Bee was so pleased with herself for creating this, although I had to help her a fair bit as it was our first time creating it. And Little Bee was amazed at the magic that jie-jie had created!

A black and white underwater scene...

Pull the picture out and voila! It is now a colourful undersea scene!

Jane Austen

Jane Austen is one of my favourite writers, and I had read and re-read many of her classics umpteen times over the years. Which was why I watched Becoming Jane for the second time in 72 hours last night, and was imbued with fascination and approbation for Jane Austen. For a lady to yearn for financial self-sufficiency and independence in that conservative era was almost unheard of, yet she forged ahead to create 6 of the greatest novels of our time, breaking conventions, defying traditions. She died unmarried, in her 40s.

I love her novels, not just for the happy endings, but really for the timeless themes that resonate in our minds and hearts. The pure romances between her multi-faceted protagonists, devoid of instantaneous gratification in the form of hasty sex that are so redolent in novels today, present a deep yet relevant emblem of what love really should be, despite the social norms of that era.

Lastly, with the exception of Hugh Grant in Sense and Sensibility, I am now developing a school-girl crush over the male personifications in Jane Austen's life and novels - James McAvoy, who played Tom Lefroy, supposedly a friend of Jane Austen, and Colin Firth as Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice! I am sure many women will agree with me that they are charming beyond words ;)

Sketches Of A Little One

As the second child, Little Bee is usually easily distracted whenever I tried teaching her at home because of one older jie-jie around. Hence, I find it harder to teach her, compared to Big Bee at the same age when she had all the solo time in the world to learn.

But despite her short attention span, I find that she enjoys doodling and sketching in her quieter, more focused moods, especially faces. Which was why I was pleasantly surprised a few nights back when she suddenly deviated from her usual facial drawings and drew a rainbow with a grand flourish on the whiteboard that Papa bought for the girls last week.

She then picked up the whiteboard, grinned widely and uttered "Rainbow!" After she received all the praises from us, she proceeded to draw not one, but two suns on the board, proclaiming happily, "Two suns!" I had a hard time trying to explain to her that there is only one sun in our universe, not two!

Here's another sketch she did on the doodling board. When I asked her what that thing with the big eyes was, she beamed and said, "Aw-boory"...which incidentally means "strawberry". I think it was a rather cynical looking strawberry indeed! And she claimed that the strange-looking thing beside the strawberry is a "o-ta-o"..."potato"!

The Bees doodling peacefully together...one of those very rare moments of sibling non-rivalry...

Coming Of Age

It is common hearsay that your kids are independent once they start venturing out with friends on their own, without needing your company anymore. During the Friday of the March holidays, Big Bee was invited to Elizabeth's (her K2 good buddy) house...and the invitation specifically highlighted that only Big Bee was invited. Hmph.

It was a gathering with 4 of her best buddies in K2, and a reunion of sorts, as most of them went to different primary schools. As this was her first escapade out alone, she was filled with slight trepidation and asked that my helper accompany her (since parents were not welcomed!).

Hence, my helper became the official photographer for the gathering and told me the girls had fantastic fun, switching from royal games of princesses role-playing to hopscotch to play dough and board games the entire afternoon from 2 to 5pm. I must thank Lizzie's Mum for keeping an eye on the girls, though she said they were adept at entertaining themselves.


Casting a magical spell over Lizzie (in red dress) with Mithalina giggling at the background.


The ring of fairy queens: (from left) Lizzie, Mithalina, Big Bee, Nicolle Tan and Nicole Teo

This party of hers gave me a peaceful reprieve at home. For the first time in years, I could finally take an afternoon nap and enjoyed some tranquillity at home whilst Little Bee napped!

Big Bee enjoyed herself tremendously. When we picked her up at 5pm, all the girls were so reluctant to leave each other. I am very happy to see her forming strong and, hopefully, lasting friendships with these kindergarten pals of hers.

The Winter's Tale

Yesterday afternoon, 2 of my girlfriends and I took the afternoon off and watched Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale at the Esplanade, directed by American Beauty's Sam Mendes and performed by a resplendent cast of highly talented actors.

I had always loved Shakespeare's works, having studied many plays over secondary school and junior college, though I always find The Winter's Tale, which I studied for my A-levels, a tad too heavy and tempestuous.

However, yesterday afternoon, I watched with wide-eyed wonder and besotted rapture, as Shakespeare's intense words leapt out of old, archaic scripts right into the impassioned lips of these magnificent actors through raw, unbridled emotions that brought the play to true life and self-effacing tears to our eyes.

It is amazing how Shakespeare's centuries-old themes can transcend through the ages, elevating us into another world, another time, infusing us with pure emotions so raw you almost can identify with these tortured souls and delightful characters.