Elections Fever

Elections fever had been raging for the past 9 days, and it had never been a more exciting and breathtaking time in Singapore politics. For the first time, I am seriously torn with my choices (I never was!), and until now, am still ruminating over many questions. What do I want for my future as a Singaporean? What should we be thinking about when choosing our government? How can our national identity be solidified further? How sustainable is Singapore in the long term, and who can help us forge ahead? What defines happiness? Simplicity, contentment, being surrounded by the people you love? Or economic growth, stable jobs, high incomes? Do we want Singapore to be run like an enterprise? Or do we want the kampong spirit to be back, albeit in a simpler, less stressful Singapore? 

For those of us with a deep love for our country, we need to truly think about what we want as a future Singapore...and really analyse options from many different perspectives and parties. We had achieved immense growth as a country in the past 50 years and no one can disagree with that. Moving forward, are there more avenues of growth as our country matures? What defines future happiness? Future successes? Future growth? Are there other ways of analysing successes other than material growth or increasing GDP? What about the emotional health of Singaporeans?

On Cooling-Off Day, I had been reflecting about how enlivening this whole GE2015 journey had been. It is an awakening of sorts for Singaporeans, where we are able to immerse in open dialogue, liberal thrashing of different candidates and parties and mass rally gatherings. Most amusingly, such discussions are probably the root of many split party opinions within families and friends!

But I view all these as highly positive signs - that we are able to debate openly, sometimes irrationally, sometimes persuasively, but mostly vehemently. And by us doing so, it merely proves that all of us deeply love our country, that we care about where Singapore is heading, that we harbour hopes for the future of Singapore. And most importantly, that we all feel we can create change and have the liberty to choose. And the amazing thing is that all these rigorous debates were conducted in full respect of peace and harmony, with no violence, physical fights or acts of terrorism that had been so commonly linked to election seasons in many countries.

So I am truly thankful for this journey, allowing us to truly ruminate and reflect in the face of intense, spirited and energetic debates. Never have I felt so much like a Singaporean, even at the cusp of possible changes and possibilities. Never have I felt so gratified that I live in this country, witnessing the subtle ripples of changes that - hopefully - will create a better Singapore for our children, where open dialogue, intelligent discourse and a unified love for our country, exists. Whatever the results are tomorrow, we know that we have groups of passionate individuals who dearly love Singapore and who wants to help the country ride to better heights, however you define those heights. Majulah Singapura! 

"I am not a brave man, but I love Singapore and I love Singaporeans." ~ Chiam See Tong

Up Where We Belong...

I had been in a nostalgic mood lately, browsing through old travel pictures and dreaming of simple days of yore. 

This was a view of what paradise could look like for me, in a trekking trip to Nepal back in 1998. It was inexplicably magical to be surrounded by omniscient mountains, revelling at how the light of the setting sun brushed the tips of the highest mountains, igniting the resplendence of the Himalayas all around us. 

In that space, I felt small and yet contented - gratified to be a minuscule but fundamental chess piece in this gargantuan and turbulent world where all of us have a place and role to fulfill. And most importantly, realising that the most beautiful things in life are free yet priceless.

I hope to return to Nepal, up in the mountains where I feel most at home in, together with the Bees. So that they can understand that true beauty really costs us nothing, except for an appreciation for the natural phenomenon all around us. 

Finality...and Continuity

Last week had been unabashedly emotional and exhaustingly heavy-hearted - almost surreal in so many ways. Surreal in the sense that I shared this sense of forlorn bereavement with a whole country. A country whose people had always been criticised to be emotionless, passive and expressionless - just because we may not be understood in the same cultural context or measured in similar hues of socially agreeable behaviour as other cultures.

I had been thinking a lot about that feeling of emptiness when I woke up every morning last week. Those bursts of sentimentality and tears which are so rare for me, the constant appreciation and gratitude when I looked at everything around me - and even guilt for all those times I had taken Singapore and the lives we built up here for granted.

And even till today, I reflect back in wonderment - how, even in his death, Lee Kuan Yew managed to inspire a nation to stand up on our feet - literally - in order to bid farewell to him in so many ways. But seriously, how do we say goodbye to a great visionary? Granted, he was not the only architect of Singapore, that there was a team of brilliant strategists alongside him. But what makes a great leader indeed? He is truly the embodiment of a real leader - ruthless when the time called for it, and prophetic in uncanny ways. There is plenty for modern Singaporeans like us to emulate from him - to stand up for ourselves against supposed giants with different ideologies, to fight for our rights as Singaporeans, and to reinforce our very unique identity in a world where larger nations constantly fight for cultural hegemony.

So, it had been hard to bid farewell to this giant of giants, not because we will miss him as a person, but because it is like saying goodbye to what he represents, and the slow dawning of trepidation for the future of Singapore without these values.

Which is why last week would be indelible in my memory forever because we came together as a nation to mourn a great man and what he stands for - resilience, perseverance, determination, pride and unity. Regardless of inconsequential demographics like race, religion, language or socio-economical strata. And I hope these values continue to feature significantly in our future.

I think the deep-seated emotions that many of us felt last week were reflections of the pride we harboured as Singaporeans and what our little nation stands for - despite a barrage of criticisms and pressures from other nations. Many times, our perspectives towards nation building had evolved through the many stages in our lives. But for many of us who hailed from low-income families, we are deeply gratified for this system of meritocracy which provided us with umpteen opportunities and which helped us break through the cycles of neediness. And this meritocratic education system (which is evolving in dangerous ways these days, unfortunately) is something that I am personally very thankful for, because it changed the life of my family.

Much had been written about the unity of Singaporeans, the deep-seated emotions and pride harboured by many of us in our country - as well as the potential to finally be a gracious society. Yet, I constantly worry if our children would understand and grasp the frailty of our so-called success and security. Will they be resilient enough to continue this fight? To stand up for themselves as Singaporeans in future? To continually sustain a country without any natural resources? To carve out a stronger national identity and culture for themselves?

Yet, the glimpse of our Singapore spirit last week was a hope for a future where Singaporeans can fight on and keep our identity burning strong. This hope of unity, this seed of gratitude and the belief that we should stand up for our little island nation and all that we represent...these laid the foundation for much of my broiling emotions last week. There are many imperfections in our country, I do acknowledge that, and yet there is so much raw potential. We definitely have much to do and to work towards. More importantly, there is never a time when the words Majulah Singapura meant so much for many of us. Let us not forget and continue fighting on! And indeed, to let our children realise the importance of fighting on as well.

It was uncanny how the heavens poured with the march of the funeral procession on that unforgettable Sunday. And how the skies miraculously cleared after that...giving way to a beautiful, tangerine-tinged sunset. And maybe even creating rainbows with the inevitable blend of retreating raindrops and shy, emerging sunrays. An era is over, and it is up to us to write the chapters for the next era. Like Lee Kuan Yew once said, "...look at the horizon, find that rainbow, go ride it." Will we be able to spot the many rainbows over Singapore, or better yet, help create one, and continue the legacy of Singapore from now on? It is all entirely up to us, this much I know.

Goodbye, Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Today marks the end of a somewhat dazzling era, an era when miracles happened, an era when people started believing in the impossible, an era when anything is possible. This is the end of an era when dreams and hopes are realised through sheer determination and perseverance, when nation-building is at its strongest and densest. This is a time when all of us in Singapore remember yet again what it is to be a proud Singaporean - to stand together as one and stand up for ourselves against the tumultuous changes in this crazily changing world. 

There may be naysayers and detractors, but frankly, we will not be where we are without such dreams and devotion by this great man. 

Rest in peace, Mr Lee. You will always remain in our hearts. 

Paint The Afternoon Away!

We spent a fun, creative afternoon painting our blues away in Arteastiq, a Victorian-looking cafe with a big space for creative expression on canvas. It was so therapeutic and a great way for family bonding by giggling over and appreciating each other's paintings. 

Although we did paint at home sometimes, this was a different experience because the Bees were able to sit down and really focus on creating something from a clean slate. We were also inspired by myriad creative ideas of other painters around us, and could stick to an idea and paint it through.We could paint anything we want, and for the less inspired, there were booklets with picture ideas that we could emulate.

I love the different emotions fleeting through me when painting. Emotions like being reflective before painting. I usually looked deep within myself and examined my mood and propensities before painting. I usually like landscapes because they remind me of escapism into another land far far away.

Wonderment and curiosity. When I first laid my brush on a clean slate, I would never fail to marvel at the richness of colours, the dexterity of human fingers and the ability of the human mind to create something out of nothing. For me, painting never followed any predicted paths (although, frankly, I am but a rudimentary painter). I would usually experiment with different strokes, textures and colours, so I am constantly infused with a sense of curiosity about where all these would lead me.

Frustration (at times). Sometimes, I would experiment and play around with the brush strokes and colours to the extent that the outcome was very different from what I had envisaged initially. But I would adapt and adjust constantly. And this is the most important life lesson I learned from painting - that it is perfectly fine to make mistakes and that we can always adapt and change, so that these mistakes become blessings in disguise. I kept emphasizing this to the Bees, especially perfectionist Big Bee, whenever they grumbled that they mixed the wrong colours or painted the wrong strokes, etc. And I think painting is a wonderful way for children to learn to experiment and adapt!

And finally, satisfaction and gratification when I sat back at last and breathed a sigh of happiness.

Hubby's painting and his fabulous attempt at blending colours for a complete newbie! 

This was mine, and yes, I was dreaming of living on a deserted island at that point of time!

Big Bee's painting - she wanted to paint pop art for a change. This was her first attempt at graphical pop art and I thought it was so bright and colourful!

Little Bee's attempt to convert a landscape into a 2D pop-art portrait - can you spot the waterfall, overlaying branch and river boulders?

Travel Memoirs: Flying Solo

Travelling long distance for business can be very lonely. Recently, I took a 30-hour flight to Florida on a work trip. There were 3 different flights, 4 airport changes (including the airport of departure) and 2 relatively long periods of transit in New York and Frankfurt. And I am not even including the journey back home! 

At every intersection, I saw families and friends reuniting, hugging, chatting and smiling. Lone business travellers like me just ambled around sterile and commonplace airport shops, sat in airport lounges together with lots of other bored business travellers, and watched endless movies on the plane. Surrounded by so many different people, I had never felt lonelier. Yet, back home, when I am just ensconced in the love and warmth of our little family of 4 (and sometimes with our parents too!), I had never felt more contented.

I do get lots of time to reflect upon many things in life on these trips though – from trivial matters like what the kids are doing in school to deeper reflections about life in general.

While humanity is all about communication, lone business travellers often times only have the company of their own thoughts. On occasions like these, I had many conversations with myself throughout the journey and got in touch with myself again. It was a lot easier to observe beautiful things around me. Little beauties like fireworks under a full moon as the plane departed from New York . The changing multi-hued shades of sunset at 9pm on a long summer day in New York. Beautiful patches of emerald German farm land as the plane got ready to descend into Frankfurt. Watching a wakening Singapore as the soft, magical wings of a purple-hued dawn swept across our island that was aglow with the twinkling lights from the night before. 

 Lonely yes, but comfortably alone. And I relish such chances to observe the world so closely without distractions from the boisterous kids. 

My gregarious girls had talked about their fear of being alone and doing things on their own. Which is understandable at their ages. Sometimes, I wonder how we can help eradicate the fear of being alone in our children. So that peer influence may not be that much of a deal. So that they are perfectly contented – like us – wherever they are, so long as they have the companionship of a book, their eyes (for observing things around them!) and conversations with themselves. Some kids cope better with this but my kids are social beings, and I find that it is harder to encourage them to do things on their own, without the company of their friends or us. Well, let’s see how else I could encourage them….

Our Thankful Journals

A good friend of mine, J, started listing 3 things she is thankful for - on a daily basis. It is amazing to read her gratitude reflections on Facebook at the end of each day. This concept is so simple yet brilliantly beautiful - encouraging us to remember the delightful things of the day, and in the reflection process, try to forget about the unpleasant events that happened. It is very rejuvenating and detoxifying. In doing so, I think we become happier and more optimistic souls, with a stronger ability to see the good in everything...and hopefully, becoming more resilient human beings in the process.

Inspired by J, I started gratitude journals for the Bees and myself - encouraging ourselves to see the silver linings in the billowing clouds of our lives.

We were not able to write daily journals in the hustle and bustle of everyday life in Singapore, although the girls try their best to do so whenever I encourage them to. But on vacations, we would write daily reflections, and the process is so therapeutic because we get to reflect on the affairs of the day. Memories also become more indelible in our minds.

The Bees rolling down a lush hill slope in a Tasmanian winery! 

I am pulling out a couple of pages from the Bees' thankful journals. Enjoy!

Big Bee
20 Dec 2013
Things I am thankful for:

1) Going to Churchill Island!
We took a bus to Phillip Island and our first stop of the day was at Churchill Island. There were long grasses everywhere and even a farm with many different kinds of animals! We saw chickens, ducks, turkeys, cows, dogs, rabbits and even fed and petted a horse whose name was Sophie!

2) Going to the Koala Conservation Centre!
There was a koala boardwalk and we saw loads of koalas but most of them were asleep! We still had a lot of fun taking photos of them though! They were really CUTE!

3) Going to the Noobies (weird name, but never mind)
The Noobies was just so spectacularly overwhelming...there were tons of seagulls EVERYWHERE and a huge massive island rising from the ocean! Also, I heard that there are sharks in the ocean! *screams*

4) Penguin Parade
We saw cute little penguins waddling in to their burrows from the ocean. It was extremely cold there and we all had to wear thick jackets to keep ourselves warm! However, I think we frightened away one penguin from its burrow cuz we were sitting too near it. Still, it was a wonderful experience.

Little Bee
24 December 2013
3 things I love about today:
1) Eating delicious food. So yummy!
2) Taking a very, very good walk. It was so fun.
3) I love the Park Explorer tour! I put my legs near the lake beside Cradle Mountain!

I love today because it is fun!

Stargazing

I had always been fascinated by astronomy and the stars. Those mysterious, twinkling diamonds in the sky constantly beckon to me, taunting me that there is so much more to this universe than the everyday woes and joys we are going through on Earth. Making me feel so much like an infinitesimal speck of insignificant stardust in the limitless universe that knows no boundaries.

And yes, according to some astrophysics' theories, we are all made of stardust - because almost every element on Earth was formed at the heart of a star. Isn't it magical...and almost existential?

Last March, in one of our trips to the Science Centre, I bought a huge telescope as a birthday present for Hubby. It was a long-held dream of mine to gaze regularly into the stars and examine our universe, and thus understanding our world and who we are. And I know it is sneaky of me to buy something I really want for Hubby's birthday!

The telescope is a real beauty. It opens up panoramas that are literally out of this world. We saw - in vivid details - almost every little crater on the moon. We glimpsed into elusive galaxies where clusters of stars reside. We went back in time to look at stars sparkling at us now. It was all so fascinating. My only grouse is that I need to learn to handle the telescope better because I can never focus onto Saturn despite us spotting it gleaming high in the skies. To be able to see Saturn's rings would be a feather in the cap! And oh, the repercussion of nights of viewing is that I ended up with a very tired left eye which I usually kept closed when peering into the telescope with my right eye...and an aching neck!

Enjoy the photos of the moon from the eye of the telescope that I took using my good old mobile phone!

Time Flies...

Am I the only one who thinks 2013 sped past us with an incredible speed? This is already October, and it is scary how vividly I still remember the chiming of the hour that gently nudged 2012 into 2013, and all those early days of January thereafter.

And now...we are counting down to the end of the year yet again. With bigger children. Older faces. More experiences. New things to look forward to.

Time is scary. It is even scarier in fast-paced Singapore where we are constantly forced to plan for the future. Our children's exams in the next fortnight. Our job appraisals in the next week. Our parents' birthdays in the next month. Our business trips in the next quarter. By planning for all these way in advance, we are losing precious sight of the current moment, in a bid to chase for the future. And I think that is why time flows exceptionally rapidly for us Singaporeans. It is sad. And somewhat unnerving.

I was reading The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom, and was struck by the poignancy in which the different protagonists in the book wanted to manipulate time to their own agendas - just to grasp that little slice of happiness that they think they desire. Yet, happiness and contentment is within everyone's reach - if only we slow down and appreciate every single moment. But - can we do it? Is this yet another instance of "this is easier said than done"? What can we do to appreciate every moment? To take time for its face value? To have a realistic balance of reminiscing moments long gone, relishing the present and anticipating the future? I have no answers to that for sure, and I am still trying to discover day after day.

Still, one of the tiny ways for me to cherish and remember every moment is to look at past photos. This evening, I was looking through some old photos from late last year, and realised that we had such a multitude of different experiences and activities just in the last quarter of 2012. Yet, at that point, I was probably too busy planning for the year ahead (Little Bee's first time in primary 1, Big Bee's entrance into stressful primary 5 territory, my heavy workload, etc) for me to really savour those moments. Until now.

Because of this, I am trying to play catch-up with time. I might be posting some really backdated posts which I think are fundamental moments in our lives that I would love to document here.

As for now, here is a photo that depicts a special time of the year that we are constantly looking forward to - the imminent year-end Christmas season! Enjoy the moment and look forward to the beautiful days to come :)

Taken at the Tanglin Mall's mock snow fiesta in December 2012 - just before they became wet and soapy!

Inspired To Paint

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, Hubby took out paints, easels and canvas, and encouraged the 3 females in the family to indulge in a bout of escapism. Painting, to us, is escapism. The focus it provides is an amazing reprieve from the stress of daily life. Whether we emulate existing paintings, attempt to re-create the great works of old masters, or enact another world from our imaginations, it provides us with a little channel into another world.

Little Bee had previously sketched out a rainforest some time back, and could immediately launched into painting this rainforest alive through mainly verdant shades. 

Big Bee opted to paint a semi-abstract painting comprising of a fairly challenging blended background and a pair of love birds on a beautiful blossoming tree. 

Whereas I decided to re-enact an European countryside scene which I found online. 

We will be displaying our paintings around the house, which makes it so much more meaningful for the Bees rather than us buying paintings from other painters. And I think this rejuvenating exercise will be a regular one for us! 

Is Our Math Curriculum Relevant for the Real World?

Last week, I attended a Primary 5 & Primary 6 Parents' Maths workshop. This was the first time I had attended a workshop of such nature, and Maths had never been a favourite subject, so I wasn't really looking forward to it. However, with so much changes in the primary school Maths curriculum, plus the challenging Maths questions that Big Bee occasionally asked me at home, I thought it is good to understand what Big Bee is going through in school. The real Maths whiz in our family, Hubby, came along too, much to my relief, and I was really thankful for his interest and support in his girls' education.

What ensued was a 2.5 hour of mind-boggling and muddle-headed session where parents were taught the various strategies used in the PSLE Maths curriculum, and parents were made to do 16 problem sums (gulp!).

The audience was filled with parents from all walks of life - from doctors to lawyers to journalists to parents with postgraduate qualifications. But the looks of bewilderment on most parents were truly priceless. We had to throw all our years of algebra aside, and for Hubby especially, to toss his advanced Engineering maths aside, so that we can become primary school students, learning a new curriculum from scratch again.

We grappled with new strategies like repeated identity, branching, advanced model drawing, etc. Eventually, the final problem sum that we had to solve baffled most of us, and it was so ironical that a Primary 6 girl had to come up to the main board and explained the solution to the entire audience.

After the workshop, I was really perturbed. Today's Maths curriculum does not help in fostering creativity and problem-solving skills in our children at all. Today's Maths - with its allocated strategies for respective problems - reinforces the perennial problems that most Singaporean students are facing, which is the inability to think out of the box and the lack of opportunities to think beyond what they are learning in the classroom. Having fixed strategies for individual problem sums just prove to students that there are ready-made solutions for every problem they face, when the world's problems are really made up of so many ambiguous issues with no black-and-white solutions. Thereby, this will sadly reduce our children's inspiration to think beyond the traditional boundaries of knowledge to create more unique and applicable solutions, which is what a fledging and small country like Singapore really needs.

Frankly, I emerged from the workshop disillusioned and disappointed. Despite the Ministry of Education's call for more creative teaching and a more holistic curriculum, the teaching of this core subject, Mathematics, shows that we, as a nation, are somewhat unprepared to veer away from the staid curriculum of rote-memory and examinations-based learning. Worst of all, I fear that such a curriculum will not foster a life-long love for and interest in learning, and is not practical nor intellectual.

When will we be ready to steer away from rote memory examinations, from ready-made solutions for a more liberating and intellectually stimulating curriculum that will nurture the true abilities of our children?

Some of the questions that we had to solve are below. Want to try your hand at solving? ;)

1) On Monday, Alynna has $48 more than Eunice. On Tuesday, Alynna spent 1/4 of her money and Eunice received 20% of the amount of money she had on Monday from her father. Eunice found that she had $72 more than Alynna on Tuesday. How much money did Eunice have on Monday?

2) Anne, Belle, Cecil and David each have some stickers. The number of stickers Anne ha is 2/3 of the total number of stickers Belle, Cecil and David have. The number of stickers Cecil has is 20% of the total number of stickers that Anne, Belle and David have. If Cecil has 35 stickers, find the total number of stickers that Belle and David have altogether.

The Road Not Taken

Robert Frost is one of my favourite poets, and I really love his evocative poems about nature, love and sorrow. He had an amazing power to convey the smallest nuances of reality through his concise but vivid writings.

Recently, I chanced upon this poem of his again (The Road Not Taken, as reflected below). As a mother, I thought long and hard about how I can convey this message to my children, how I should be imbuing in them the inspiration to do what they truly want, even if that would be unconventional and different from the others. I also thought about how this poem can inspire them not to be too easily influenced by peer pressure, especially with Big Bee embarking onto her tweenhood journey.

And most of all, I thought about what we should really be teaching our children in a stressful Singapore - to go with the flow of rigid studies based on rote-learning, or to listen to their hearts and excel in something they are good at? I guess the big question would be: Can we parents learn to accept the different roads our children may choose to take? How can we be sure that we will always be standing beside them, advocating them unconditionally, without putting any of our expectations on them?

These are tough questions as our children grow bigger, with more societal pressures on them. But I hope to be always inspired by my own mother, who had always advised me to follow my dreams and to pursue my passions. In an age when most parents preached professional degrees like Medicine and Law, I remember vividly the day that she told me to follow my heart when I was choosing between a law degree and a more broad-based communications and social sciences one. Most parents will nudge their children to a professional degree, but my own mother took a look at me and said, "I do not think a legal profession will be suitable for you, and I do not think you will be happy. Just choose what you are interested in." It was a bold and wise statement coming from a woman without much education, and it had remained indelible in my mind since then. And since then, I had never felt happier in my university journey and my various careers.

Will I be able to tell my children the same message when they come to the same crossroads?

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Back In Business (Hopefully)

The first quarter of 2013 had trundled along, and I just realised that I did not blog a single entry in February...yet, we are now in the middle of March. The speed at which time zooms past us constantly amazes me. Memories of last October where Little Bee was preparing for her K2 graduation celebration were still fresh in my mind. Yet, in reality, she had already eased into a new chapter in her life, adjusting perfectly to life in primary 1. My mind was still speckled with memories of my little celebration with Big Bee for her 10th birthday last year, and now, we are staring at the imminent approach of her 11th birthday next month.

As I look at how crazily fast time slithers through our fingers, I decided that I cannot let this little blog of ours lapse. Remembering indelible moments in our lives is so much more important than working on that extra email or work project. So, I am trying my best to pick up the little pieces of my neglected blog, and would be posting a lot of back posts.

Work had been so insidiously busy that it is overwhelming, but I am glad that I can still spend quality time with the girls and family by attempting to be home early. It is essential that we spend quality time with the kids as working mothers, and if I have to work, I will only do so after the kids sleep. Which is why I am just so exhausted on some days.

For now, I am trying to do more blogging because I realise that I miss the writing. Let's hope I will keep to my own promise :)

Overflowing Plates

The last 4 months had been nothing short of intense for me. Work had been inexplicably hectic, and working 12 to 16 hours a day - plus some hours thrown in over the weekends - was the norm for months. Family life had been tremendously eventful as well. Little Bee wrapped up her K2 year with a wonderfully poignant and spectacular graduation concert. There were also plenty of year-end birthday and farewell parties for the little social butterfly. To top it all off, she celebrated her 6th birthday with a fun-filled hip-hop dancing party last weekend!

Big Bee completed her final semester in school with panache - she was really pleased with her examinations' results, and had a marvellous time at her school's final semester fun fair, which I was too busy to help much with. Her voracious appetite for reading remains consistent - she is very much into the fantasy genre now, and had been devouring entire series of Percy Jackson, Harry Potter and the Belgariad swiftly. She is eyeing The Lord of the Rings series next. She is fast becoming a mature young lady, and is becoming more of my pal and companion!

These few months, I couldn't help but think that life is truly all-consuming. Exhausting, yes. But also filled with so much love and blessings from this beautiful family I am blessed with. The light is shimmering brighter from the end of a dark tunnel...and I am definitely looking forward to a restful and rejuvenating holiday season soon!

Expect lots of back-dated entries from now on!

The Latest...

Life had kind of gotten back to normal after a hectic, almost surreal 3 months. Big Bee had just completed her final examinations with results that I am happy with. She is also actively pursuing her passions of music and dance, with lots of performances. Little Bee is fast trundling towards the end of her kindergarten chapter, which is really poignant for me, for I always view her as my little baby. Hubby and I had gone halfway across the world and back, with our numerous work trips to the States, to China, to South Korea, and more. And today is our 12th wedding anniversary!

I had also watched several really good Korean dramas and endured many late nights, thanks to fabulous recommendations from my Korean drama kakis!

So, life is now at a comfortable pace where I can start smelling the roses and enjoy the wonderful things that life, family and friends can offer. We had so many fun outings and exciting activities these past few months, with many more to come, so expect lots of backdated entries as well!

Akan datang....

Floating In A Sea Of Love

WOW. Remember my post on my tendency for obsessive compulsive behaviours? This time, it is seriously distracting. My mummy friends had been recommending highly addictive Korean dramas that seemed to have struck a deep chord with legions of people. In the beginning, I viewed this obsession amongst friends with a mixture of amusement, curiosity and bewilderment. Not just my mummy friends. But also my close friends, my yoga instructor, my collegues, my aunts, my cousins...Even my mum was not spared the obsession when I witnessed the usually nonchalant her chasing a Korean drama series at 11.30pm every night, sacrificing her sleep and her reading.

So, after much temptation from my mummy friends, I decided to take a plunge just to test if I could be immuned to such compulsion.

OH. BOY. I had so little sleep, trying to finish huge chunks of the drama series that I was literally walking around zombified in the day, yet with mystical powers to help me stay awake at night to watch every episode with bated breath, my fingers irresistibly clicking "next episode" uncontrollably, despite an average of 3 hours of sleep per night.

This. Is. Vile. Yet hauntingly alluring. I just could not stop. And ended up rewatching the same series. Now I finally understand why my mother, aunts and friends kept harping on the exquisite romances, rich plot, fast-paced storylines, captivating soundtracks etc.

For now, I am indulging in the sea of love. And I wonder when I will be out of this raptness. At the same time, I am trying very hard to ensure that my life regain normality as soon as possible, especially with work that is piling up (productivity in the office is way low when I am obsessed with things other than work!), Big Bee's exams, hundreds of back-dated blog entries to write about...

This. Has. To. Stop.

20 Years

...20 years. This is how long Hubby and I had known each other as of last month. 2 full decades. 240 months. 7,300 days.

We did not mark the special day with fanciful celebrations. Instead, we quietly acknowledged the fact that we had known each other for more than half my life, and rejoiced in the notion that we are still as much in love with each other as 20 years ago.

We met as sparkly-eyed freshmen in his university. Destiny must have been working its adroit hand as it lured me all the way to his campus. Within weeks, we were dating regularly - deliriously in love, meeting each other almost daily, writing lots of love notes and poems to each other. Oh, those were the wonderful years.

6 years later, we went on a trekking trip to Nepal with some friends. On our first day of camp, we set up camp on a grassy knoll high up in the Himalayas, with resplendent snow-capped mountains all around us. At night, when our friends had retired back into their tents to hide away from the cold, he asked me to look up at the skies, and I was blown away by a dense blanket of dazzling, brilliant stars all above us. It was magical.

As I looked back at him, I saw him holding a little jewel case with a pair of diamond earrings, smilingly saying, "These are the stars from above" (or something like that!) and "Will you marry me?" I was overwhelmed and speechless, before uttering some unintelligible affirmation out of sheer happiness.

14 years later, with 2 additions to the family, we acknowledged that marriage is a whole lot of hard work, compromises and effort - but most importantly, love and companionship. There were good days and there were equally bad days. We had gone through much trials and tribulations as well as endless happiness. We still think about the same things at times. It is uncanny when he utters something and I would look at him, stunned, because I was just thinking about the same thing. It is remarkable that I sometimes still finish his sentences for him - and vice versa - because we know just what each other is thinking about. But most of all, we cherish each other's differences - how he could not even do a single forward bend despite his wife being a yoga practitioner for the past 10 years, and how I could not even understand a single music squiggle (yes, musical notes are squiggles to me!) when his favourite hobby is composing music.

I recently chanced upon this little note of scrap paper which contains an unforgettable poem that Hubby wrote on a lovely morning in London 3 years ago as I slept. We both read it again and were transported to that memorable trip. For me, I was touched that he could still write this poem even after 9 years of marriage then, and his scribbles and cancellations on that scrap paper made the poem even more precious.

Here's the poem he wrote:

My beautiful wife
In the early morning light
Lips pristine and locked
Face a perfect scenery
Eyes like the morning sun,
Waiting to rise
From the slumber sleep
Time never moves
As she whispers
Each breath
Lips part slightly
Air moves in
I place my kiss -
Morning rises

~ 12 July 2009, Sunday, London

Days Of Very Full Plates

It is true that my blog had been inactive. It is true that this might possibly be the longest hiatus that my blog had taken, that it felt a wee bit strange and somewhat unfamiliar as I logged onto Blogger earlier on. It is a fallacy though that I had lost interest in blogging, for writing still remains a primary love of mine.

I must confess that part of my tardiness stems from my obsessive compulsive behaviour again, this time revisiting the life of one of my favourite writers, Jane Austen, in Becoming Jane, and the restrained yet fiery passion and romance between Austen and Tom LeFroy.

Another fundamental part of my blog's inactivity is due to my completely hectic schedule at home. School had reopened and hence the normal busy pace of life had restarted, and there are also other exciting developments on the homefront. I had certainly been sleeping at 2-3am every night and waking at 6.30am to fetch Big Bee to school, and I wish there is a pill that we can just swallow to ensure that we have all the goodness of sleep in our system, yet without having to waste time sleeping!

Little Bee had gotten her confirmation letter into the primary school that her sister is in, all thanks to the great Phase 1A system, and I sometimes still take out the pink confirmation slip, gazing in wondrous disbelief that my little baby will be going to primary school soon. On the other hand, Big Bee has been exceptionally busy with school CCAs and lots of dance performances, on top of her homework, and these performances had kept us parents busy, entertained yet proudly pleased at the same time.

Here is a peek at what had been keeping the Bees busy on the academic front. Little Bee's kindergarten is stepping up on more "serious" work to prepare them for primary one in half a year's time, and I try to include in funner, less academic elements like painting, games and journal writing at home during their free time to ease off the sobriety of academic work.

Surprisingly, both of them are coping well and handling these work in their strides, still finding lots of time daily to play, to walk the dog and to engage in endless giggles with each other. I do think these elements of enjoying life are most important!

Little Bee's Chinese writing exercises from school

Getting to understand the intricacies of Chinese comprehension in school for Little Bee

Little Bee's weekly homework which sometimes include a short writing exercise about anything under the sun...

...or some drilling in Math

Little Bee's weekly Spelling exercises

Little Bee's weekly 听写

Big Bee's weekly 听写 and 默写 above and beyond all her other school homework

My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

There is a very valid reason for disappearing for more than 10 days from my blog － for the first time in years! Here's the reason below, sigh.

I was never one who watched lengthy drama series, as I know I would get addicted easily, and with my impatient nature, I would probably sit right through dozens of episodes all at once. Hence, I had practised good self-restraint all these while.

Until I heard so many of my friends watching (and getting crazy over) 步步惊心。Furthermore, I have a deep fondness for the Forbidden City and had spent manifold moments with Hubby (and occasionally, by myself) in this historical landmark, falling in love time and again, intrigued by China's complex history over and over again.

So, for the past fortnight, I fell into this deep dark abyss of addiction - hook, line and sinker - immersing myself in the beautiful love story and mellifluous Chinese language of this series.

And after completing the last episode last Saturday, I felt the clouds clearing from my muddled head. Whilst having a foot and half a mind still doused in the fantasy of Qing dynasty.

So - no social life, no late night work emails (good!), no dating life with Hubby and sadly, no homelearning with the Bees!

But I will move on soon...

This silly, ridiculous obsessive compulsive disorder will appear once in a while in my life. For example, the latter half of last year saw me utterly captivated in America's civil war with Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind, with Edward Rochester and his wild passion for Jane Eyre, and with restrained Fitzwilliam Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice.

I relished the novels, TV series, movies (I even went to watch Jane Eyre the movie twice!), forum discussons, etc. Obsessive behaviour, really. Until the compulsion slowly died down.

Meanwhile, I need to reach for 桐华的小说，步步惊心。想跟大家分享纤美兰章的其中一句：

“从爱生忧患，从爱生怖畏；离爱无忧患，何处有怖畏？是故莫爱着，爱别离为苦。若无爱与憎，彼即无羁缚。”

太凄美了。

Their Favourite Memories of 2011

These first 15 days of 2012 had been nothing short of spectacular - filled with beautiful parties and wonderful gatherings in the first week, and immense assiduity at work right from day 3! 

Work had been inexplicably hectic, and I have had difficulty doing consistent homelearning with the Bees. Also, school work had been mounting up for the Bees, so we cannot really do a lot of fun, home-based learning, much to my chagrin. 

But we managed one short night last Sunday to indulge in our new homelearning theme - which is "My Body" - so that we can integrate better with both the Bees' school themes this term. 

We also completed our lapbooks on Lifecycles. Much more could be done as usual, but I always need to learn to make a decision to stop so that the Bees can move on to more general knowledge! 

One of the activities we did on the first 2 days of 2012 was for the Bees to think about the entire year of 2011, and write down what their best memories were. It was definitely challenging for Little Bee, who couldn't really remember what happened in the early months of 2011, so she was rattling on about everything that happened in December! So, it took me a little reminding and summarising of what we had roughly done in each quarter of 2011 before she wrote down her favourite memories. 

Big Bee also needed a little prodding and reminding before she could will her mind to the early days of 2011 - otherwise, she kept reliving our recent South Korea trip and nothing else!

I thought this was a neat way to get them to relive some of the more positive memories, and hopefully, encourage them to start cherishing some of the more special moments in their lives - and learning to record only the positive memories so we could always be happy! Much easier said than done, as usual - especially when I am beginning to feel so fatigued with juggling home and work this month! 

Anyway, here are their little notes. 

Big Bee

1. Seeing snow for the first time and skiing.

2. Having a new, wonderful sticker book with lots of marvellous stickers.

3. It was a lovely family holiday in South Korea. 

4. Riding a horse on a beach against the backdrop of a sunset in Penang.

Little Bee

1. I made new friends in K1!

2. I saw a horse pee on the beach in Penang!!!!? (don't ask me why she added all the exclamation and question marks in!)

3. I went to a snowy place called S Korea and I played with snow!!!!