The Magic Of England (Part 1): London

Imagine a city steeped in thousands of years in history, of legendary monuments that everyone reads about in books, royalty and palaces, West End musicals and the magic of Harry Potter and Peter Pan. That is London for you.

Imagine rolling meadows of gold, quaint thatched-roof cottages and sleepy villages right out of a fairy tale. That is the Cotswolds and the quintessential English countryside for you.

Imagine the uncertainties of world wars, of the last frontier in England, of centuries-old majestic cathedrals, Geoffrey Chaucer's old English, and the oldest university in the English-speaking world. That is Kent and Oxford for you.

In June, we went on a whirlwind trip of the above places in under 9 days. It was a little challenging with jet lag settling in both ways, but children are adaptable at this age, so we managed to enjoy ourselves nevertheless!

Having been to London countless times on my own for work and with Hubby, this was the first time that we brought the kids with us. They are both huge Harry Potter fans (both the books and the movies), and we are excited to see how they view London from the eyes of Harry Potter. While I am a little jaded of London and its crowds, the girls loved London and all its buzz.

Summer in London was particularly pleasant, with long sunshine hours (from 4.30am to 10pm!) and lovely, cool weather. These were perfect conditions for long, languid strolls along antiquated landmarks that we had read and seen manifold times on the mass media - the Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Westminster, London Eye, Tower Bridge and more.

We cruised down River Thames, admiring the transformation of London from archaic city to a modern capital. We cheered and applauded audacious and sometimes foolhardy street performers on a bustling Sunday.

We soaked in the atmosphere of the Covent Garden market and the excitement of the crowds near the Big Ben. Being bibliophiles, we immersed ourselves in bookstores and searched for bookshops selling old, old books! We also had fun taking the London Tube and comparing it with the MRT back home.

This little alley is filled with quaint little old bookshops!

This bookshop sells mainly first-edition books! How fascinating!

A chessboard for 3 that we chanced upon in Covent Garden. The Bees and their Papa tried playing, and it was a little more convoluted, but so much more fun with 3 persons playing!

We visited the British History Museum and gawked at the mysteries of evolution, largely inspired by Charles Darwin's work through the years. We spent an entire day in the British History Museum because there was just too much to learn and observe, from the beginnings of life to geology to dinosaurs.

The girls were fascinated yet overwhelmed at the same time. We had fun losing ourselves in the colossal and majestic museum building, while wondering how so many British school children can be on field trips in the museum (and all over London) all at once! We wish for as many field trips in Singapore schools!

The Bees looking at lots of stuffed little birds

Finally, what is a trip to London without a visit to the West End and immersing in their musicals? Big Bee fell deeply in love with the musicals in London, and we ended up watching 3! Les Miserables was Big Bee's absolute favourite, while Little Bee was hugely entertained by Mamma Mia, which totally suited her fun-loving and bubbly personality. Meanwhile, all of us were blown away by Elphaba's awe-inspiring vocals in Wicked. We also loved how different West End theatres had their own idiosyncrasies that were personalised to their respective musicals, and the intricate designs of the sets.

Les Miserables

The beautiful stage set of Wicked

The breathtaking and intricate designs of the theatres

Most of all, we had wonderful meals, sitting, chilling and just bonding together, a little family of 4 lost in a big, crowded city.

When The Moon Disappeared...

The Bees had always been fascinated by space and the universe around us. We started learning about the solar system and outer space since Little Bee was in K1, creating mini fact books, a rocket craft, singing about our planets and sketching the solar system.

We have had numerous conversations about the possibility of life in outer space. Hubby and I are strong believers that life exists in other galaxies, and maybe because of our beliefs, the Bees are starting to acknowledge the possibility of aliens, although the concept is totally creepy to them.

2 months ago, we observed the April total lunar eclipse with our close friends at home. We took out our telescope in a bid to observe the movement of the eclipse but were more successful at observing the red hues of the blood moon and the path of the eclipse with our naked eye. After the eclipse, when the moon was rising and shining bright, we observed its mysterious craters through the telescope. It was intriguing to look at the intricate craters and shadows on the moon through the telescope, and we adults had crazy conversations about potentially observing signs of life on the moon! We also discussed the moon landing conspiracies, and wondered about the state of the universe and the first creation of life.

It is apparent that the adults were more fascinated than the teenagers and big kids, who were holed up in the bedroom, gossiping about books and pop music on their own! These days, it is interesting to observe what teenagers and big kids do when they get together. These 4 kids had been hanging out since they were babies, and it is really heart-warming to see them maturing together from active kids who ran all around playing with toys to sedated teenagers who would rather lounge around the house, chatting about books and music.

As for the adults, we are excited to catch the next lunar eclipse!

Lunar eclipse in action! 

The mysterious surface of the moon

More moon pictures - these were all taken from our mobile phones through the telescope! 

Time Slows Down In Middle Earth (Part 3): Pastoral Living

Our homestead!

We spent 4 days holed up in a little cottage in a pastoral, secluded area of New Zealand. And experienced the most beautiful days of our trip there. The days were luxuriously long and languid, and the weather was capriciously flirtatious - with brilliant sunshine giving way to brooding thunderstorms in 5 minutes. There were plenty of wildlife all around us, as well as highly domesticated sheep, dogs, goats, alpacas and lorikeets! We learned to tune our senses and intuition to the rhythms of nature, and felt truly at one with the world.

Some of the highlights of this short-lived sojourn include:

1) Being ensconced in incredibly enchanting surroundings. Our cottage was just beside an alluring waterfall, whose cascades vary in strength according to the weather patterns, which made us more aware of the repercussions of different natural phenomenon. These cascades were gushing with vigour when we arrived in tempestuous weather, which were reduced to gentle trickles when we left the cottage under brilliant sunshine.

Alfresco dining beside the waterfall

These cascades led to a bubbling brook just outside our cottage, framed by majestic poplar trees which made magical music with their rustling leaves. Together with the waterfall cascades and the brook, we were treated to perpetual symphonic music all day and night!

A beautiful outdoor bath!

2) Sharing life experiences with Devon, our amazing host on the farm. She lives alone on the farm, and used to have a corporate job in London. It was fascinating to listen to tales of how she started getting her hands, feet and legs dirtied (in both the figurative and literal sense!), all alone on the farm!

We befriended all of Devon's pets - Demi the super-friendly labrador, Mri the super-tame lorikeet who loves playing with the girls, and our absolute favourite, Aga the South African sheep who had been raised by Demi, so she is completely friendly like a dog! She loved our company and would always looked for us in the cottage, refusing to go home sometimes!

The Bees with Aga, the sheep-dog!

Once, she even led the entire flock of sheep into our backyard, and then joined us to play and frolic around - almost as if to show off to her flock that she has this bunch of human friends! If sheep could roll their eyes, I am sure the entire flock - which was completely nonchalant to our presence - would do that!

3) Eradicating all technology and social media from our lives for a few days. There were no wifi nor TV, so we played card games, read loads, chatted and bonded with one another incessantly. The magnificent scenes of nature unfolding all around us were our entertainment.

We observed the flirtatious courtship dance of the 2 huge mandarin ducks beside the waterfall, listened to the wild, machine-gun calls of sturdy magpies and watched how aggressive they can be. We had the immense privilege of hobnobbing with the flock of sheep that Aga brought into our backyard, and spent an entire evening chatting and milling with them, sometimes playing catch with some of them! Sheep are certainly delightful creatures.

Simple fun in the absence of modern technology - the girls throwing pebbles into the waterfall pond

Gumboots are the order of the day for us to trek through sludgy mud and thick grasses!

4) Our cottage is akin to a studio apartment, with the kitchen adjoining the bedroom. So, it was always a pleasant surprise to wake up to the smell of eggs and the clanging sounds of kitchen utensils - with hubby (and Big Bee once!) cooking up a breakfast! Most of our meals in the cottage were cooked by him, from eggs and baked beans for breakfast to hearty soups and pastas in the evenings.

He decided to make use of the outdoor firewood pizza oven one evening, and we had an elaborate alfresco dinner which comprised of lots of billowing smoke from the oven and delicious wood-fired pizzas! He started a fire from small logs, twigs and pieces of newspapers and we all cheered when a hearty fire was created.

The girls making the pizzas!

All done! Yummy...

5) Taking long, luxurious walks around the farm and its wild lands. We had picnics for lunch, perching on a hill top with stupendous views of the rolling countryside around us, with not a single human soul, except for lots of sheep and horses! Such inexplicable beauty indeed. We walked for hours, laughed, rolled in the grass, and just immersed ourselves in meandering meadows and fluffy white clouds.

Finding a perfect spot for a picnic lunch

The scenery that greeted us from all around...

6) We drove daily to a little village where we could do our grocery shopping and cafe hopping. It was just a 15-minute drive away from our cottage, and that was where we bought all our Christmas gifts for Devon and our animal friends. We felt like locals, blending into the diverse Kiwi culture and stocking up on fresh, healthy food.

Little Bee had a chance encounter with Santa in a supermarket!

7) The greatest part about living in a rural area is that there is absolute no light after darkness descends. Not a prick of light! Complete, opaque darkness that is so dense that it can get unnerving for city dwellers like us. Yet, when we looked up in the sky at night, magic unfolded. Magic in the form of thousands of twinkling stars and shining planets. Magic in the form of faraway galaxies and shooting stars. An entire blanket of luminescent fairy lights that re-defined beauty for me. Being typical Singaporeans, we had not quite seen stars like that, and the nightly spectacle was indelible in my memories.

Most importantly, that few days on the farm - with no distractions - allowed us to laugh a little louder, love a little more and immerse a little longer in the cleanest of air and most bewitching of natural beauty. What a stay! 

Why I Avoid Parent-Teacher Talks

Since the Bees entered primary school, I had only attended 2 parent-teacher talks (at the start of each of their primary 1 journey). I then deemed these talks highly invaluable, and stopped attending. I do not need to learn of my children’s personalities from teachers because I know them well. I do not need to listen to how inattentive or engaged they are in class because I believe all teachers should make their lessons interesting in order to capture the attention of their students. I do not need to know if they had or had not completed their homework, because truly, it is the onus of my children to do their own homework, and I believe that teachers should reinforce this message in school. I do not need to know how my child fared vis a vis her classmates, so long as I am personally happy with her performance. Finally, I do not believe in parent teacher talks probably because I grew up in an era when my own parents were too busy trying to earn a living for us and we also learned to take charge of our own destinies independently. And that is how I want my children to grow up.

Alas, I was “summoned” by Little Bee’s teacher for the parent-teacher meeting this year. Other than braving the long wait, I also have to jostle with irresponsible parents who were late or who took up extra time in their consultations irresponsibly. I also saw parents with teary eyes, red noses and anxious, depressed faces. And I lamented about the sad state of our primary education here in Singapore. My children are already in a holistic school where school co-curricular activities and huge fun events are regarded as important as academics. And even then, I saw such anxious faces amongst parents. It’s sad indeed.

To put everything into context, Little Bee is a year-end baby who is still very idealistic, naïve and filled with wide-eyed wonder and effervescence at everything around her. I love this personality trait about her – her bubbly optimism, her indefatigable enthusiasm and her zest in enjoying life to the fullest. Sure, I have to grapple with academic carelessness and untidiness (because she just wants to hurry and complete her work so she can play with her little ponies or read the next Harry Potter book). However, I had seen her grown this year – she is much more responsible in completing her own homework without me needing to ask her, and I think she had made an immense effort in making her writing and presentation of written work tidier. And I am a happy mum in this aspect.

Which was why I was so disappointed and baffled when Little Bee’s teacher started criticising how active and chatty she is in class (I know about her gregarious trait since she started to walk and talk!), how untidy she is in her work (I told the teacher that this year I already saw a marked improvement in her written work) and finally, to my shock, how childish she still is. Goodness, this little girl just turned 8 four months ago! So, in all politeness, I asked for examples of childishness, and she could not provide any, beyond the simple and thoughtless statement of “Hmmm, just very childish in her thinking, compared to many other classmates who were much more mature.” I was somewhat enraged because this is a little girl’s childhood that you are talking about. Why do you want children to grow up so quickly in this harsh world?

Truth be told, Little Bee was unwittingly streamed into what was known as a high-ability class in school, and from the beginning of this year, she already tried her best to keep up with her very capable and driven classmates. I really miss the good old years in primary 1 and 2, with totally loving and nurturing teachers and classmates who embrace holistic enjoyment in life. 

I bet I sound like a totally defensive parent, and my teacher friends would be telling me that education is a tripartite collaboration – with the school, parent and child. But what happens when our concept of education is just so different from what the teacher or the school system perceives? What happens when I am proud of what Little Bee had achieved already, that I know she had already put in effort this year, and it is precisely this effort that I chose to applaud. Not to compare her end results with some high achiever in her class?

It was a sad day indeed, and I pray very hard not to be summoned for another parent-teacher chat! 

Finality...and Continuity

Last week had been unabashedly emotional and exhaustingly heavy-hearted - almost surreal in so many ways. Surreal in the sense that I shared this sense of forlorn bereavement with a whole country. A country whose people had always been criticised to be emotionless, passive and expressionless - just because we may not be understood in the same cultural context or measured in similar hues of socially agreeable behaviour as other cultures.

I had been thinking a lot about that feeling of emptiness when I woke up every morning last week. Those bursts of sentimentality and tears which are so rare for me, the constant appreciation and gratitude when I looked at everything around me - and even guilt for all those times I had taken Singapore and the lives we built up here for granted.

And even till today, I reflect back in wonderment - how, even in his death, Lee Kuan Yew managed to inspire a nation to stand up on our feet - literally - in order to bid farewell to him in so many ways. But seriously, how do we say goodbye to a great visionary? Granted, he was not the only architect of Singapore, that there was a team of brilliant strategists alongside him. But what makes a great leader indeed? He is truly the embodiment of a real leader - ruthless when the time called for it, and prophetic in uncanny ways. There is plenty for modern Singaporeans like us to emulate from him - to stand up for ourselves against supposed giants with different ideologies, to fight for our rights as Singaporeans, and to reinforce our very unique identity in a world where larger nations constantly fight for cultural hegemony.

So, it had been hard to bid farewell to this giant of giants, not because we will miss him as a person, but because it is like saying goodbye to what he represents, and the slow dawning of trepidation for the future of Singapore without these values.

Which is why last week would be indelible in my memory forever because we came together as a nation to mourn a great man and what he stands for - resilience, perseverance, determination, pride and unity. Regardless of inconsequential demographics like race, religion, language or socio-economical strata. And I hope these values continue to feature significantly in our future.

I think the deep-seated emotions that many of us felt last week were reflections of the pride we harboured as Singaporeans and what our little nation stands for - despite a barrage of criticisms and pressures from other nations. Many times, our perspectives towards nation building had evolved through the many stages in our lives. But for many of us who hailed from low-income families, we are deeply gratified for this system of meritocracy which provided us with umpteen opportunities and which helped us break through the cycles of neediness. And this meritocratic education system (which is evolving in dangerous ways these days, unfortunately) is something that I am personally very thankful for, because it changed the life of my family.

Much had been written about the unity of Singaporeans, the deep-seated emotions and pride harboured by many of us in our country - as well as the potential to finally be a gracious society. Yet, I constantly worry if our children would understand and grasp the frailty of our so-called success and security. Will they be resilient enough to continue this fight? To stand up for themselves as Singaporeans in future? To continually sustain a country without any natural resources? To carve out a stronger national identity and culture for themselves?

Yet, the glimpse of our Singapore spirit last week was a hope for a future where Singaporeans can fight on and keep our identity burning strong. This hope of unity, this seed of gratitude and the belief that we should stand up for our little island nation and all that we represent...these laid the foundation for much of my broiling emotions last week. There are many imperfections in our country, I do acknowledge that, and yet there is so much raw potential. We definitely have much to do and to work towards. More importantly, there is never a time when the words Majulah Singapura meant so much for many of us. Let us not forget and continue fighting on! And indeed, to let our children realise the importance of fighting on as well.

It was uncanny how the heavens poured with the march of the funeral procession on that unforgettable Sunday. And how the skies miraculously cleared after that...giving way to a beautiful, tangerine-tinged sunset. And maybe even creating rainbows with the inevitable blend of retreating raindrops and shy, emerging sunrays. An era is over, and it is up to us to write the chapters for the next era. Like Lee Kuan Yew once said, "...look at the horizon, find that rainbow, go ride it." Will we be able to spot the many rainbows over Singapore, or better yet, help create one, and continue the legacy of Singapore from now on? It is all entirely up to us, this much I know.

Goodbye, Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Today marks the end of a somewhat dazzling era, an era when miracles happened, an era when people started believing in the impossible, an era when anything is possible. This is the end of an era when dreams and hopes are realised through sheer determination and perseverance, when nation-building is at its strongest and densest. This is a time when all of us in Singapore remember yet again what it is to be a proud Singaporean - to stand together as one and stand up for ourselves against the tumultuous changes in this crazily changing world. 

There may be naysayers and detractors, but frankly, we will not be where we are without such dreams and devotion by this great man. 

Rest in peace, Mr Lee. You will always remain in our hearts. 

Colours Of Nature: An Ode To Nature

In our rushed existence, we often do not stop and realise that we are surrounded by endless natural beauties. Yes, even in urban Singapore.

Have you noticed the abandoned nest of the sunbird out in the shrubs? And the busy-ness of the ubiquitous and resilient ants transporting a dead wasp home? Or how the droplets of dew trapped in the mimosa plant captured the tangerine sunrays of a rising sun?

Have you ever smelled the rain before a storm, that piquant smell of dense condensation in the air that is the harbinger of approaching rain? Or were you fascinated by the dappled blue skies filled with painfully pretty altocumulus clouds that spells gorgeous weather?

And these are all around us in urban Singapore - free for all to appreciate. We just need to stop and observe. All it takes is a keen eye and an open mind to appreciate the natural beauty all around us. 

Children generally have sharp senses for little incidences of nature. Like how Little Bee first discovered a beautiful sunbird's nest just outside our living room. Or how Big Bee discerned a colossal spider web, lined with sparkling droplets of morning dew and a huge spider (and its insect meal!), on a walk in MacRitchie.

Can you spot the bird in the nest?

Just last week, as we were lazily ambling to our neighbourhood park, Little Bee chanced upon a small tree stump and squatted beside it for a long time, trying to decipher how old the tree is, from the rings in the stump.

As parents, it is so necessary to provide the space and time for children to observe little beauties of nature at all times. Not hurrying them along. Nor confining outings to sterile air-conditioned malls. Getting out into the great outdoors - no matter how hot it is here in Singapore - allows us to be more cognisant of the natural beauty that exists all around us. 

Spider-Girls

The Bees indulged in a fair bit of rock-climbing at Kallang Wave over the December holidays. It was exciting for them, and a great activity to dispel their excess energies. Big Bee, being her usual athletic self, is a natural at rock-climbing. She would literally scramble up the entire length of the wall, scaling walls that are challenging even for adults. I could only achieve heights that are half of hers, as I always made the mistake of looking down at the tiny people below and then going into a panic attack!

As for Little Bee, she prefers scaling lower walls so that she could reach the top easier and that gave her a sense of achievement. Different kids, different approaches!

We also had great fun at the bouldering section, where we tried to scale the wall without any ropes or reinforcement - just pure, core strength. It was exhilarating when we tested our limits and crashed down on the soft floor of the boulder section, unfettered and liberated.

Rock climbing is a wonderful activity to challenge our children's (and ours!) limits, pushing them beyond their comfort zones and teaching them the power of strength and perseverance. We will be back for sure!

Parenting Tweens 101

Big Bee is fast propelling into her teens, after a relatively unruffled ride as a tween. There were some bumpy and tumultuous moments at the beginning of her tweenhood, as exemplified here. The start of tweenhood would always be challenging for most parents, as we grapple with their fight for independence and their angst at battling their own hormonal changes.

Sometimes, I suspect tweenhood is invented for parents. It is like a buffer time period to cushion the separation anxieties for most parents! As I read back on my old posts on tweenhood, I smile at myself for being unwilling to let go, for worrying over the most trivial matters, for wanting to embrace the "babyhood" of Big Bee. Because, right now, as she is into her teens, I am enjoying the sweet fruition of sensible, companionable chats with Big Bee, sometimes seeking her wise opinions on issues in life, sitting back and not worrying about how she runs her life, and more importantly, having a lot more quality time to myself.

I am still adjusting my parenting style as Little Bee is trundling towards her tweenhood soon. In fact, I am already observing the same signs of independence-seeking incidents and moody meltdowns in Little Bee this year!

While I won't profess to be the perfect tween mum, here were some strategies which I used and these had proven to produce very fulfilling outcomes!

1) We MUST let go
- This is non-negotiable. Letting go, and allowing them the freedom to explore what they want is fundamental in gaining their respect for you as parents. This means allowing them the freedom to meet with their friends, visiting places that you normally would not allow, not bugging them over the phone, and not insisting that they call you every hour!

2) Accept that their peers are more important than you ... now
- This is a no-brainer. We had all been there and done that. They are surrounded by peers all day long in school and you are no longer their paramount source of information and opinions. By acknowledging the importance of their friends (and their weird opinions and advice at times), it actually helps to bring down the guard of your tween and make them open up more to you.

3) Befriend their friends
- I love to hang out with Big Bee's friends. They are such a bright, happy and funny bunch of teens. And I try not to act all adult-like and serious when I am with them. They like it when you are silly and listen to them without judgement (I think!). Once you know your tween's friends, it is such fun gossiping and chatting about their friends together.
- Set up an Instagram account (no self-loving tween is on Facebook these days) and link yourself with all your tween's friends while they are still open to having parents as social media friends! You can also check out what your tween or her friends posted, which is really important in keeping yourself up-to-date with the rapid developments in their lives

4) Listen to your tween
- And by listening, I mean truly sitting down and listening to their wishes, their hopes, their dreams. And just listen. Without judgement. Sometimes it is tempting to just put in our "adult judgements" on the things they want to do, but try to take a back seat and let them experiment with life. This is the time when they can learn about failures and successes, while having a thin lifeline to you and still possessing enough child-like dependence to listen to you at times (compared to their hardened teenhood!)
- It is ideal to have some alone-time with your tween every day to catch up on his or her day. 10 minutes of pure listening and chatting. No judgement :)

5) Get to know what they like...and immerse yourself in those activities!
- Which explains why I had been immersing myself in teen fiction, teen music, teen ... erm...fashion!? Okay, maybe not the last one. But yes, learn to enjoy teen fiction and talk giddily with them about their favourite characters, couples, whatnots!

Whatever it takes, tweenhood is a definite constant - and a new phase in our ever-changing parenting journey!