Goodbye, Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Today marks the end of a somewhat dazzling era, an era when miracles happened, an era when people started believing in the impossible, an era when anything is possible. This is the end of an era when dreams and hopes are realised through sheer determination and perseverance, when nation-building is at its strongest and densest. This is a time when all of us in Singapore remember yet again what it is to be a proud Singaporean - to stand together as one and stand up for ourselves against the tumultuous changes in this crazily changing world. 

There may be naysayers and detractors, but frankly, we will not be where we are without such dreams and devotion by this great man. 

Rest in peace, Mr Lee. You will always remain in our hearts. 

Colours Of Nature: An Ode To Nature

In our rushed existence, we often do not stop and realise that we are surrounded by endless natural beauties. Yes, even in urban Singapore.

Have you noticed the abandoned nest of the sunbird out in the shrubs? And the busy-ness of the ubiquitous and resilient ants transporting a dead wasp home? Or how the droplets of dew trapped in the mimosa plant captured the tangerine sunrays of a rising sun?

Have you ever smelled the rain before a storm, that piquant smell of dense condensation in the air that is the harbinger of approaching rain? Or were you fascinated by the dappled blue skies filled with painfully pretty altocumulus clouds that spells gorgeous weather?

And these are all around us in urban Singapore - free for all to appreciate. We just need to stop and observe. All it takes is a keen eye and an open mind to appreciate the natural beauty all around us. 

Children generally have sharp senses for little incidences of nature. Like how Little Bee first discovered a beautiful sunbird's nest just outside our living room. Or how Big Bee discerned a colossal spider web, lined with sparkling droplets of morning dew and a huge spider (and its insect meal!), on a walk in MacRitchie.

Can you spot the bird in the nest?

Just last week, as we were lazily ambling to our neighbourhood park, Little Bee chanced upon a small tree stump and squatted beside it for a long time, trying to decipher how old the tree is, from the rings in the stump.

As parents, it is so necessary to provide the space and time for children to observe little beauties of nature at all times. Not hurrying them along. Nor confining outings to sterile air-conditioned malls. Getting out into the great outdoors - no matter how hot it is here in Singapore - allows us to be more cognisant of the natural beauty that exists all around us. 

Spider-Girls

The Bees indulged in a fair bit of rock-climbing at Kallang Wave over the December holidays. It was exciting for them, and a great activity to dispel their excess energies. Big Bee, being her usual athletic self, is a natural at rock-climbing. She would literally scramble up the entire length of the wall, scaling walls that are challenging even for adults. I could only achieve heights that are half of hers, as I always made the mistake of looking down at the tiny people below and then going into a panic attack!

As for Little Bee, she prefers scaling lower walls so that she could reach the top easier and that gave her a sense of achievement. Different kids, different approaches!

We also had great fun at the bouldering section, where we tried to scale the wall without any ropes or reinforcement - just pure, core strength. It was exhilarating when we tested our limits and crashed down on the soft floor of the boulder section, unfettered and liberated.

Rock climbing is a wonderful activity to challenge our children's (and ours!) limits, pushing them beyond their comfort zones and teaching them the power of strength and perseverance. We will be back for sure!

Parenting Tweens 101

Big Bee is fast propelling into her teens, after a relatively unruffled ride as a tween. There were some bumpy and tumultuous moments at the beginning of her tweenhood, as exemplified here. The start of tweenhood would always be challenging for most parents, as we grapple with their fight for independence and their angst at battling their own hormonal changes.

Sometimes, I suspect tweenhood is invented for parents. It is like a buffer time period to cushion the separation anxieties for most parents! As I read back on my old posts on tweenhood, I smile at myself for being unwilling to let go, for worrying over the most trivial matters, for wanting to embrace the "babyhood" of Big Bee. Because, right now, as she is into her teens, I am enjoying the sweet fruition of sensible, companionable chats with Big Bee, sometimes seeking her wise opinions on issues in life, sitting back and not worrying about how she runs her life, and more importantly, having a lot more quality time to myself.

I am still adjusting my parenting style as Little Bee is trundling towards her tweenhood soon. In fact, I am already observing the same signs of independence-seeking incidents and moody meltdowns in Little Bee this year!

While I won't profess to be the perfect tween mum, here were some strategies which I used and these had proven to produce very fulfilling outcomes!

1) We MUST let go
- This is non-negotiable. Letting go, and allowing them the freedom to explore what they want is fundamental in gaining their respect for you as parents. This means allowing them the freedom to meet with their friends, visiting places that you normally would not allow, not bugging them over the phone, and not insisting that they call you every hour!

2) Accept that their peers are more important than you ... now
- This is a no-brainer. We had all been there and done that. They are surrounded by peers all day long in school and you are no longer their paramount source of information and opinions. By acknowledging the importance of their friends (and their weird opinions and advice at times), it actually helps to bring down the guard of your tween and make them open up more to you.

3) Befriend their friends
- I love to hang out with Big Bee's friends. They are such a bright, happy and funny bunch of teens. And I try not to act all adult-like and serious when I am with them. They like it when you are silly and listen to them without judgement (I think!). Once you know your tween's friends, it is such fun gossiping and chatting about their friends together.
- Set up an Instagram account (no self-loving tween is on Facebook these days) and link yourself with all your tween's friends while they are still open to having parents as social media friends! You can also check out what your tween or her friends posted, which is really important in keeping yourself up-to-date with the rapid developments in their lives

4) Listen to your tween
- And by listening, I mean truly sitting down and listening to their wishes, their hopes, their dreams. And just listen. Without judgement. Sometimes it is tempting to just put in our "adult judgements" on the things they want to do, but try to take a back seat and let them experiment with life. This is the time when they can learn about failures and successes, while having a thin lifeline to you and still possessing enough child-like dependence to listen to you at times (compared to their hardened teenhood!)
- It is ideal to have some alone-time with your tween every day to catch up on his or her day. 10 minutes of pure listening and chatting. No judgement :)

5) Get to know what they like...and immerse yourself in those activities!
- Which explains why I had been immersing myself in teen fiction, teen music, teen ... erm...fashion!? Okay, maybe not the last one. But yes, learn to enjoy teen fiction and talk giddily with them about their favourite characters, couples, whatnots!

Whatever it takes, tweenhood is a definite constant - and a new phase in our ever-changing parenting journey!

I Refuse To

This evening, Little Bee cried and told me she would be scolded by her teacher for not buying the Chinese Moral Studies activity book. Tomorrow would be Week 5 of the academic school year after all, and she is the only student in class not to have that book. Feeling guilty, I reassured her that I would go to school and check if the book is available in the bookstore. We scoured a couple of large Popular bookstores today, but it was sold out in these outlets, and she was not thrilled about it. But she could not chastise me for long because she only told me she needed that book last week. And I usually do not keep track of what books are missing after I bought all her textbooks in school. 

Within a split second, she cheered up considerably (this is the ever-optimistic Little Bee for you!). I was secretly thankful that I was on the receiving end of her nags...and not the other way round.

And this is how I try to govern school work with my 2 Bees since 7 years ago, when Big Bee first entered the highly stressful environment of the Singapore education system. 

When other parents asked me what homework was given today, I told them I do not know because I had not looked into their notebooks or homework files. 

I refuse to. Because this is the responsibility of my child, and not me. And if they found out they had forgotten to do their homework, they are the ones who will get reprimanded by the teacher. And I can save a session of nagging in exchange for more quality time together. 

When I heard about how parents had to intervene and correct their children's mistakes in their school work, I told them I have no idea what crazy answers my children gave ... because I had never looked through my child's completed homework. 

I refuse to. Because this is their homework, and they should do it themselves. So that their teachers can understand the full extent of the level of their standards as students. And I can just ask my children pleasantly, "So, have you finished your homework? Great! Now let's do some reading!" No flipping through their worksheets furtively, only to feel angst if there were some wrong answers. 

(Okay, sometimes I cheated and looked through their work just to find out where their level of understanding was. But I do not tell them if I spotted wrong answers!)

Of course, there are exceptions when they asked me for help with their homework. But since young, I had always been telling them that their school work is for them to handle alone, and they should not ask me for help. That should be the responsibility of their teachers. And I am thankful to my Bees' school and teachers who had always been insisting in the same message as me - "Parents, do NOT help with homework. We will do that!" So, the girls hardly asked me for help, unless it is some terribly challenging homework (which they seldom get from school anyway!). 

When I hear other parents complaining about English and Chinese spelling, I can totally understand their agony. Because it can be very frustrating to expect the kids to know every word on their spelling lists. Sometimes, I do not even know how to write certain Chinese words on their lists! 

So I refuse to be angry if the Bees - especially playful and forgetful Little Bee! - kept asking me to show them the words so they can refer to them. Or if they make repeated mistakes day after day. Or if they write or spell a word wrongly that they got correct the night before. I will just keep showing them the list until they get it correct. And they might come back with lower marks than usual. But hey, that is fine, I told them. Get better marks the next time. 

Our unforgiving education system is already so stressful, and sometimes I feel really angry with this system for ruining the beautiful childhood that my children could have enjoyed. But well, we live in this country, so we just have to abide by it! The best thing we could do is give our children some slack and not drill them so much. And give ourselves a piece of peace (pun intended!) by letting go and asking our children to handle their homework themselves. In addition to less nagging and lowered blood pressure, this also helps them to be more independent and hopefully, more persevering. Don't know a Math problem? Think harder! Don't remember a word for spelling? Take a look and try again! Don't know how to do your comprehension? Read again and write what you think is correct!

What resulted is this marvellous peace at home where school work is concerned. Unfortunately, I am still a stickler for punctuality and completing your work at the right time. So, sadly, I am still a drill sergeant asking them to "go do your work NOW" or "I am going to count to 3 so hurry up and come brush your teeth!" or "You need to sleep in 5 minutes' time!" 

I am still trying very hard to change this aspect of mine that is chasing the clock incessantly, abiding by it tirelessly and timing our activities right down to the second. Not a lot of success in letting go of this area, of flippantly dismissing the importance of time yet! 

Christmas Art

We did a bout of Christmas art on a lazy weekend over the year-end holidays. The Bees did some research on what icons they thought that most represented Christmas, and painted those out. We spent a couple of quiet hours drawing and painting these 2 festive icons, and it was really therapeutic.

Here were what the girls had done!

Big Bee's Christmas Tree

Little Bee's Santa's Torso!

Of Chalkboards And Clean Slates

To demonstrate the significance of life's impermanence, Tibetan monks will painstakingly create intricately designed sand mandalas. For months, they bent over the ground, arranging the sand grain by grain. Once their beautiful creations were perfected and completed, they cheerfully destroyed it in the ultimate celebration of impermanence.

Impermanence is the fundamental nature of the human condition. Yet, most of us are living our lives in a constant state of worry, denial and regret - and that is what's causing our supposed fears. Change is a constant reassurance that we consistently learn from the undulating affairs around us. Yet, we are often shocked by definitive constants like deaths, even though death is the most predictable outcome of life - more so than births, in this age of contraceptives and birth control tactics.

We emphasised the concept of impermanence with the Bees through simple chalk play one balmy evening. We hope that a better understanding of impermanence might help them to become more resilient, adaptable beings in future, able to face the myriad challenges that will appear in their lives soon.
We bought a box of colourful, cheerful chalks and painted a wall in our home black. We then spent the gloaming scribbling and sketching on the wall, drawing favourite pictures that bring us comfort and happiness. The Bees were mighty satisfied with the outcome of our family montage! Thereafter, we left the wall to the elements (this is an external wall, exposed to the elements).

Two days later, there was a huge downpour that wiped the entire wall clean of our sketches. After the rain, we observed the sad, faded imprints of our sketches and I felt a little sorry that our hard work was gone. However, I was surprised that the Bees exclaimed excitedly that they can start drawing all over again - on a clean slate!

And that is what life is about, isn't it? Building up things with people we love, appreciating them but not being overly-attached to them. And if something happened to shake up the foundation of these things, we cheerfully move on in life on a clean slate. Easier said than done, of course, but the Bees' approach to their chalkboard gave me something to learn and think about. I hope they can take this same attitude to the many vicissitudes in their lives next time!

Time Slows Down In Middle Earth (Part 2): Christmas Eve With Sheep

Christmas Eve was spent in a bucolic, tranquil way in New Zealand. We trekked around One Tree Hill, which incidentally was the third volcanic peak that we climbed in Auckland. We woke up to a brilliant day of sparkling sunshine and cobalt blue skies dotted with pure-white beguiling clouds, the types of which we can only find in New Zealand skies.

One Tree Hill, Auckland, New Zealand

As we ascended One Tree Hill, we saw hundreds of sheep and cattle scattered all over the slopes of the sprawling hill. They are wild and unfettered, with probably the city council overseeing them.

Can you spot the sheep?

It is wondrous to find spots of wilderness and pastoral living just minutes out of the city. An excellent juxtaposition of idyllic rustic living alongside frenetic urban lifestyles. It made it so much easier for frazzled city dwellers to escape into an arcadian, verdant paradise.

We trekked and ambled in the bush and rambling slopes of the hill, chatting with sheep that chewed on grass just an arm's width from us. Little Bee even sang incessantly to them, much to their annoyance.

The Bees creeping up to the top of one knoll to observe the sheep

These newly shorn sheep stared at us suspiciously and with much caution, but learned to ignore us once we kept quiet and did not disturb them. The line between humans and animals living in the wild is so thin. Most animals react to how humans treated them in the past, so we try to keep our profiles low whenever we want to observe these animals at close range.

It was so therapeutic and rejuvenating to be strolling in seemingly boundless and undulating meadows, with not a sight of other humans. 

With every step we took, we were able to appreciate nature's beauty rather than artificial man-made perks. Beauty in the resplendent red blooms of the pohutukawa trees (also known as New Zealand's Christmas trees because they only bloom around Christmas!).

Beauty in the placid and cautious behaviour of the sheep - we can literally spot idiosyncracies of each sheep once we observed them closely.

Beauty in the hundreds of sheep and cattle dotting the pastures, almost like polka-dotted snowflakes on an art piece.

Beauty in the rich emerald green slopes that shield potentially tempestuous volcanic activities just miles underneath the halcyonic surface.

We found a spot to settle down for a little tea break, on a bench high up the slopes, overlooking the entire city of Auckland with a massive border of rolling meadows. There, over apples and Tim-Tams, we laughed, we played, we sang, we giggled. Just the perfect way to spend a beautiful Christmas Eve afternoon.

The view from our picnic spot

On the evening of Christmas Eve, we sat down on our apartment's dining table and started decorating and writing Christmas cards for one another. Each of us would decorate and write thankful wishes on 3 different cards. Afterwards, we all sat around the bed and read our cards, what we thought of one another, our wishes, our flashbacks. Lots of laughter ensued, and it was a perfect way to count down towards Christmas.

Wherever we are, whatever we do, being together with our loved ones at all times is what matters. 

A Reluctant Good-bye To A Fabulous Year

2014 had been a really rewarding and fulfilling year for us. It was filled with unexpectedly pleasant surprises and lots of learning experiences. It was a year of milestones for the girls - with Big Bee ending the fundamental primary school chapter in her life, and Little Bee walking an inch closer to being an upper primary girl (can you imagine my little baby heading towards upper primary?!).

I guess the biggest "hurdle" had been Big Bee's PSLE experience, but we started last year with the philosophy that the PSLE is just another exam, and that we should not compromise on anything in our lives for this exam. And I was glad we lived up to that. There was minimal stress and life still went on in terms of overseas vacations, weekend outings, gatherings with friends, extracurricular activities in school, etc.

Last year was a year that I witnessed tremendous maturity and growth in Big Bee. She grew from an angsty tween to a wonderful teenager-to-be who shared lots of gossips with me. It came with a price though. This year was the year that I fed myself on loads of young adult fiction, lingo, social media and movies, just so I could keep up with her friends and her. But it helped that we read and watched their stuff, because that opened up so many conversations and it felt kind of wonderful when her friends called me a "cool mum"!

Despite the PSLE, Big Bee got into the school netball team with loads of practices. I encouraged that because I think extracurriculars are what make well-rounded, healthy and well-adjusted tweens. For the first 7 months of the PSLE year, she was practising in school 3 times a week, only coming home at 6pm in the evenings. For the first quarter of the year, she was also loaded with piano and ballet practices - all of which helped her to destress and deviate her mind from academic work, she admitted to me. She also went on a research trip with her classmates and teachers to Hong Kong, and it really enriched her perspectives on social values.

One of the best things that we did was to prepare her DSA personal statements. That helped her reflect on her life and past experiences, and we were able to talk a lot about these past experiences and what she looks forward to in future. She also switched her goals from a typical top school offering the A-levels to her current dream school with a different, more analytical form of education. We are constantly thankful for what she had been blessed with and from now on, her future endeavours would be up to her to craft and shape.

As for Little Bee, primary 2 had been fun and leisurely for her, as always. We were extremely lucky to be blessed with an excellent form teacher for Little Bee, who was also her form teacher in primary 1. She is a caring, committed and warm teacher, and all the students (and parents!) love her so much! I believe this teacher is a great inspiration to Little Bee, who had done surprisingly well in her school work last year, despite her highly playful nature.

I am really happy that Little Bee - being her happy-go-lucky self - loves school and treats school as one gigantic playground. Being a highly gregarious and sociable girl, she also had lots of good friends whom she bonded with. Last year, she began to devote herself more to her dance CCA in school, and was delighted to be part of a huge charity concert on the last day of school. She had also completed her swim course and is now swimming well.

The Bees' reading adventures had been colourful this year. Big Bee read a total of 100+ books last year (yes, the OCD her kept a record of the books she read), and is very into young adult, dystopian series like The Hunger Games, Divergent series, etc. As for Little Bee, she is full on into Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl, having completed all of Roald Dahl's children fiction and Enid Blyton's Enchanted Woods and Malory Towers series. She had started on the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson series, but still prefers Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl for now!

2014 had been fun and beautiful for the Bees - let's hope 2015 will bring lots of equally enriching experiences too!

Time Slows Down in Middle Earth

At Mount Victoria in the little quaint village of Devonport. The volcanic mountain behind is Rangitoto Island, the newest volcano in the world at just 500 to 600 years old.

We are back from 12 days of immersing in the splendid outdoors and resplendent nature of New Zealand's North Island. It was a trip where time slowed down tremendously, allowing us to truly savour the richness of every single moment. It was true escapism in New Zealand, away from the madding crowds, seeing more sheep and cattle than humans! We were in tune with Mother Nature and the true magic of a land discovered almost a thousand years ago by the Maori people. We experienced the true respect and understanding of New Zealand's residents with the indigenous Maori and the legends of the land - something that many countries did not practise.

We spent days holed up on a remote farm, in a tiny little cottage, with nothing but the companionship of wary sheep, friendly dogs, nonchalant alpacas, glorious horses, passive cows, and magnificent views of undulating emerald-green hills. We went horseback riding as a family with views of stunning hills and gorgeous countryside, looking over sublime vistas of the Pacific Ocean. We trekked and walked (or in Kiwi terms, tramped!) over hectares of wild countryside and bush, summitted 3 volcanic mounts, climbed down a deep volcanic crater (just the Hubby!), climbed up trees and read our favourite books in the middle of vast meadows.

Living Earth - Middle Earth - Under Earth 

New Zealand is a land of stark contrasts. We were able to appreciate peaceful jade-green pasture fields, but were also privy to a land of active volcanic activity, with livid geysers, hot springs and scorching mud pools - testaments to a true Living Earth.

We went to Middle Earth and surrounded ourselves with the beauty of the Shire in the Hobbiton movie set. For The Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit fans like us, this is a dream come true - to visit the Shire and immerse ourselves in the lives of Bilbo, Frodo, Sam and the rest of the hobbits (as well as Gandalf!). We revelled in stories of film magic and met fellow LOTR and Hobbit fans. The Shire was set in resplendent, rolling countryside with 44 beautiful hobbit holes. Gorgeous indeed. We did not want to leave The Shire!

We submerged into the pitch dark, mysterious caves of New Zealand, where we were awed spectators to thousands of electric blue glow worms. They dotted the ceilings of the cavernous caves like brilliant stars on a dark winter night. Totally magical and a truly enchanting Under Earth. 

It was a truly rejuvenating 12 days, where we appreciated the beauty of Mother Earth once again and embraced the true meaning of a sustainable, living Earth in the land of the long white cloud (Aotearoa - the Maori name for New Zealand). 

More to come in detailed blog posts!

Smells Like Singapore Spirit...

Rousing cheers. Rambunctious jeers. 

Packed, sweaty bodies violently gesticulating away. 

Massive crowds standing and stomping on their feet.

Banners. Whistles. Horns. Drums. 

A whole kaleidoscope of cacophony, elation, chaos, disappointment. 

And no - I am not talking about a rock concert (although the whole ambience felt like one!). Instead, the girls and us were at a Singapore versus Malaysia AFF Suzuki Cup match. Crowds were boisterous and all decked out in red. The atmosphere was electrifying. And the girls were shocked at how rude and rowdy football fans were, especially when they started chanting "boo" when players from Malaysia doubled over in pain during more aggressive tackles. Haha, not the best place to inculcate sportsmanship to the girls! 

The girls decked out in their father's favourite soccer team shirts!

Hubby and I thought it would be a good experience to bring the Bees to a roaring football match - and we knew the Singapore versus Malaysia match would be raucous enough! 

It was an excellent experience, and brought me back to those days in the early 1990s when we were all attending football matches with the Singapore "dream team" soccer team. Best of all, the match was played in the new National Stadium, and I was impressed by the huge infrastructure of a stylish, state-of-the-art stadium! 

The entire stadium was almost filled, and everyone did the Kallang Wave deliriously, much to the Bees' amusement. The Kallang Roar was loud and clear. And the spirit was high. Everyone smiled at each other, and much encouragement was shown to the small but zealous supporters of the Malaysian team. 

Little Bee brought along her pom-poms to cheer for the Lions!

Alas, we did not win, but I thought this was a wonderful experience for the girls (although they started reading their books halfway through the match!). We will be back for more matches! 

Oops, the girls started reading out of boredom halfway through the match!

We took the MRT to avoid traffic jams, and the entire MRT station was filled with red shirts! 

Playing Games The Old-Fashioned Way

Now that we are full-swing into the year-end holidays, the girls literally have a lot of time on their hands after a very busy and intense school year. They did not have any holiday programmes this time round, and they spent their long days luxuriously, without any schedules or objectives.

And that was how I remember my own school holidays as a kid too. There were no tuition in the holidays back in those days, not a lot of play dates and definitely no holiday enrichment programmes! So, I would spend my long days with my brother, cooking up ideas to play with - ranging from us being pretend DJs and recording countless radio programmes (on cassette tapes!) to playing restaurant or clinic. All I remember of those days was our unfettered happiness and carefree spirit. And I want the Bees to remember their school holidays in the same way too - unshackled and free!

So, they spent their days doing what they want. This is also an especially busy time at work for me, so they were literally left to their own devices the whole day. I am glad my mother is a great help though. She always believes in healthy, robust activities conducted in the great outdoors which do not involve paying, so she would bring them for walks in the park and badminton games.

And every night when I am back from work, we would try to play board games as a family. Every sort of board games from Scrabble to Blokus to Game Of Life to Monopoly to UNO!

The girls always enjoy strategizing against me in Blokus, which always resulted in me being the last! 

We are board game junkies from eons back, and have a good collection of board games at home. We will usually bring these out during the holidays to play games the good old-fashioned way. Compared to the instant, one-to-one and anti-social gratifications of iPad and mobile phone apps which I never approve of, playing board games slows time down, allowing for turn-taking, enforcing understanding, patience and empathy. Most importantly, we laughed together, jeered together, poked fun at one another together. What a wonderful way to bond!

Their all-time favourite - Game Of Life! I guess the reality depicted in this game appeals to them. 

Dancing Queen

Life had been very busy once school was out a fortnight ago. What with working full time and juggling the girls' social programmes, it had been pretty overwhelming indeed!

Little Bee ended the school year with a big bang, being involved in a huge charity concert that was organised by the school. She had been very busy after her exams with lots of practices and rehearsals for this concert. She was part of the modern jazz dance group, which exemplifies her bubbly and exuberant personality.

I love how their school constantly organises such events, allowing students to understand that there is so much more than academic achievements, celebrating extracurricular participation and welcoming a whole diversity of different strengths and talents. More importantly, it is really heartwarming to see the performers interacting with the beneficiaries of the event.

This year, the concert was organised for Club Rainbow's special needs children, and all the CCA groups came together for a huge array of different performances. The showcase of the different CCAs highlighted the emphasis that the Bees' school places on extracurricular activities, and I am constantly thankful that I put them in a school which looks at the students holistically.

The concert ended with a touching finale where the whole auditorium of audience was singing with the performing students and the special needs children on stage. This reinforced the amazing school spirit and bond that enveloped the entire school all year round.

Little Bee loves her school and really enjoyed performing and being part of a larger celebration of love and life. I love how they learned about teamwork, resilience, diligent practice and team encouragement through such major performances. The sight of the dancers running through multiple rehearsals, being disciplined by their dance instructors and spending time with each other in between performances was uplifting. I felt very assured that Little Bee is undergoing a very holistic education in an environment that she cherishes and loves.

She is now in the throes of rehearsals and practices for another major dance concert for her ballet group outside of school, and I see the same enthusiasm and zeal from her for performing on stage. I am glad she got to experience stage performances, the hard work behind a few minutes' worth of entertainment, and what it means to exude a whole different stage persona when performing!

To DSA Or Not To DSA

The DSA Scheme

For students taking the PSLE, there was an option for students to apply early to the schools of their choices under the Direct Schools Admissions (DSA) scheme. Students under the DSA scheme will have to be assessed as a whole individual, rather than through numerical PSLE scores. Schools will look at a student's talent in different arenas (sports, visual or performing arts, music, leadership, etc) as well as regular school work, personal statements and an interview. They would usually have to sit through an assessment given by the school as well.

To DSA or not to DSA

We struggled with the decision to put Big Bee through the DSA because it is very time-consuming, and we heard from so many parents before us to just focus on the PSLE and not be distracted by the DSA. Many parents also cautioned me about the negative effects of failing to get into the DSA, thereby potentially affecting the child's morale before the PSLE. 

However, the holistic assessment of the DSA really appeals to me. I want schools to look at Big Bee as a person, and not just as a cold, impersonal 3-digit PSLE score. More importantly, we spoke about this with Big Bee, and she told us about her strong interest to apply through DSA. She wanted to experience the process and have fun writing her personal statement and creating her personal portfolio. Her interest helped us to decide on the DSA, and she applied to 2 schools, one of which is her "dream school", and the other is a "safe" option that most people would probably send their children to. 

Before selecting the schools, it is always a good idea to visit the schools through the many Open Houses that are available, so that the child gets a good idea of the school culture and spirit. 

The Personal Essay

She started working on the various personal essays that these 2 schools required. One school asked for an open-ended personal essay, and the other school asked for a personal essay highlighting her biggest achievement and the challenges she had to overcome in attaining it. 

It is virtually impossible for parents to help in any way to craft out the personal essays because by 12, these tweens are absolutely independent and have their own ideas of what constitutes their lives and achievements. So, after discussing what she intended to write, she was on her own in crafting out 2 very different personal essays for each of the schools. 

It is fundamental to plan in advance for the personal essays as these are reflections about what they had done thus far, involving at times a soul searching process of who they are. Big Bee spent about a week thinking about what she wanted to write and drafting out these 2 essays. 

The School Assessment Test

Each of the schools required different assessment tests to be taken, so she had to take 2 separate tests in different sittings. According to Big Bee, these 2 tests were somewhat different in nature. One essential thing to note is that the child does not need to prepare for these tests because they are very abstract reasoning in nature, with a non-composition writing component thrown in for one of the tests. So, plenty of sleep and rest before the test is sufficient! 

Some schools may have more than one assessment test. One of the schools she DSA for is a highly competitive one, and invited Big Bee back for a second round of assessments. Again, no preparation needed except for plenty of rest!

The Personal Portfolio

There was a lot of debate about the creation of a personal portfolio, and many of Big Bee's peers did not submit any personal portfolio. In fact, one of the schools actually returned the personal portfolio to me, highlighting that they only required the relevant application forms. So, this is an optional item. For me, the biggest advantage in building her personal portfolio is for her to rethink about her past experiences in school, and how each of these experiences shaped her. Even without the DSA process, the personal portfolio or reflection experience is wonderful for our children to be retrospective about their life experiences and how these had impacted them. 

There is also a section in the application for students to list down their achievements and experiences in school, so that the DSA assessors can further understand your child as a person. It was interesting to note the different approaches and priorities that each of the schools undertook. Many times, the schools' approaches and requirements reinforced in Big Bee what she wanted and where she thought she would belong to. 

The Interview

Big Bee was invited to one of the schools' interviews. The interview stage is usually the last stage of the DSA process, and is typically a nerve-racking one for many students because it is probably the first important interview that they had to go through in life! 

Big Bee was surprisingly calm before the interview, probably because she was notified of the interview at the eleventh hour. My only advice for her before the interview was to be authentic, relaxed and natural. 

Big Bee had a great time at the interview and told me about the interesting conversation that she had with her 2 interviewers. Some tips from Big Bee about the interview:

1. Smile, be yourself and be funny

2. Try to think through the answers in a more intellectual manner

3. Talk about your specific experiences

Talking About the Outcome

Throughout the whole DSA process, we kept reinforcing the concept of failure to Big Bee - that it is very competitive to get into either one of the schools she was opting into, that many others would not get in, that it is perfectly fine not to be selected, that there is a second opportunity through the PSLE. Highlighting the possibility of failure is more important for us than underlining the importance of success - for us, at least. It is all the more important because results would spread fast in school, and it is very easy for young tweens to be easily demoralised in the face of many stronger peers. 

The Outcome

DSA results typically come out at the end of August. One sweltering afternoon before the Science preliminary exams, Big Bee opened the letterbox and called me excitedly after minutes of jumping around the house in a flurry of elation. She was accepted into her "dream school"! She was also turned away from the other "safe" option school which she was not very keen on - so things really worked out well for her. 

In all, I thought this was a most fulfilling experience for her, and I am really glad we put her through this time-consuming but enriching experience. 

Her First Book (Part 4)

This is the final installment of Big Bee's first book, Another World, Another Time, which she wrote when she was 11. The other parts could be found here:

Her First Book (Part 1)
Her First Book (Part 2)
Her First Book (Part 3)

Another World, Another Time

Written by: Big Bee

Chapter 7: No More Choices

Everything seemed to be going very well until I asked Jennifer a question about this future earth.

I asked her, “Everyone in this future world uses so much electricity now, so doesn’t it pollute the earth? Wouldn’t the earth die?”

“Yes,” Jennifer replied. “The earth’s ozone layer is already gone. Thankfully, the robots were able to recreate the gases that formed the ozone layer and everyone on earth could still survive. However, the robots have predicted that the earth was going to crumble into nothingness within these two years. And robots are never wrong.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do to stop the earth from dying? Can’t the robots, like, make something to support the earth and prevent it from crumbling?” 

I had been living in this future world for only two months, yet I felt like I was part of it, because of Jennifer.

“Sadly, no. People have already asked the robots to do that but to no avail. There is no hope of saving the world now. In the past, the earth was polluted too much. There was too much littering and too much use of electricity. We have nothing that we can do to save the earth now. And that’s why we just expect the world to crumble and die.”

Did that mean that if I stay here I would die because the earth was going to crumble? What about Jennifer? And David and Selena? What would happen to each one of them? Suddenly, an idea dawned on Jennifer.

“Aren’t you from the past, Alison?!” She exclaimed, almost shouting. I was surprised to see her so exhilarated. I mean, the fact that I was from the past was obvious.

“Yes, I am. Why?” I did not feel like going back to the past at all. Living here in the future was like a dream come true.

Chapter 8: The Solution

Jennifer rattled on like a gun, “You still have time to fix that time machine and go back to your time and tell everyone to save the earth! There is only one future of the earth! The future when no one in the past bothered to stop pollution and everything. You’re a famous scientist, right? Then surely everybody will listen to what you say! You can change the entire future of your earth, Alison!”

Immediately, an avalanche of thoughts flashed through my mind. Go back to the past? The boring old past when I was a loner? Without Jennifer? No way! Didn’t Jennifer enjoy my company? Doesn’t she want me to stay with her in the future?

However, this was my chance to change the entire future of the whole wide world. If anyone would really listen to me, I really, really could save the earth. I knew that I had to sacrifice my wonderful life here in the future with Jennifer to do the right thing. It would be the last time I would be able to see robots. The last time I could ever see such tall skyscrapers, all of them at least 500 levels tall. And worst of all, it was the last time I would ever be seeing Jennifer….

A light bulb appeared in my head. I could bring Jennifer, her step brother and step sister back to the past with me! They would surely enjoy it there! Jennifer would finally be able to see all those beautiful animals and plants! No one would mind them going back to the old earth with me as they were orphans and had no parents to care about them in this future earth!

“Jennifer! You could take David and Selena, and we could all go back to the past earth with me! You can live with me in my house and I’ll take you to see all the animals that you’ve been longing to admire!” I said, flushing with excitement. “It’s the perfect idea!”

Chapter 9: Fixing the Machine

Jennifer’s eyes lit up, but within a second, she looked down and the light in her eyes seemed to disappear.

“No, Alison. I’m sorry, I can’t go with you.”

My eyes widened in shock and I could not help myself but feel immensely betrayed. “Why wouldn’t you come with me?" I could not believe what Jennifer had just said. She said no?

“Messing with time, going to the future, it’s just…complicated. It isn’t right. If we do go back to the past with you, we may not be used to the climate there and everything, and I don’t think we can survive there. I’m sorry, Alison, I can’t go.” Her eyes were downcast and it was clear that she was way more upset than I was.

“It’s okay…I was just disappointed that I would be leaving you.” My voice broke and I held back tears.

“Let’s get going then. I need to finish fixing that time machine of mine, before this future earth crumbles and I die along with it,” I said, determined.

I clenched my fists and thought hard. Making my way to the backyard of Jennifer’s house, I promised myself that I would cherish every moment with Jennifer, and I would not let her down by trying to change the future of this earth.

I worked on the time machine for a very long time. I forgot about time or food and the only two things I did not forgot was Jennifer and of course, making the machine.

She was behind me all the time, giving me tips on this and that, and how to improve my machine. We treasured every single last moment we had together. Once in a while, the ground would start to tremble. It was like an earthquake, except for the fact that the trembles were way longer, way more vigorous and way more often than any earthquake 200 years ago. Jennifer had explained to me that it was because the earth’s core was weak and going to give way.

Chapter 10: Leaving Jennifer

A month flew by. It was a whole month on fixing that time machine of mine and it was finally working again. I knew that I had to go back real soon - the sooner I went back, the better.

Before going back to my time, Jennifer had brought me around the city to buy souvenirs for me to bring back to the past. She bought me a device that could make me invisible. I gave her a pen that I had with me. She had never seen one before and in the future, there was no such thing as a pen - robots just wrote everything out for you.

Every day, I checked on my time machine to see if it was still working and before long, the day when I had to leave arrived.

I made my way to the backyard where my time machine was. There was an aura of grey around me. It was a mist that refused to rise. This was my last time I would ever be seeing Jennifer… and I could not communicate with her ever again.

A lone tear slid down my cheek. I felt like my heart was being ripped out, shattered into a million pieces, like what was going to happen to this future earth. The last time I would be staying here in Jennifer’s house. The last time I would be talking to her. The last time I would be enjoying the future earth with Jennifer. The last time I would ever be seeing her… I bit my lips, trying to stop myself from sobbing out loud.

I hugged each one of them - Jennifer, David and Selena. Jennifer and I shed some tears, then I got into my time machine, preparing to go back to my own time, away from Jennifer.

Jennifer had said right before I went into the time machine, “I won’t forgot you, Alison. I’ll keep your pen with me, goodbye. I’ll miss you.”

I waved back and screamed loudly, over the deafening whirring of my time machine, “I’ll miss you too!! Goodbye! I won’t forgot you too!” My voice cracked and I stifled a sob. I looked out the window of my time machine and I could see Jennifer, burying her head in one of her hands, whilst she used the other hand to wave back at me.

She raised her head and mouthed the word “Bye!” Looking at her tear-stained face made me understand how much she missed me too.

I pushed the button that would enable me to travel through time and then BANG! With a final wave and a last look at my first best (and my last) friend, the bright lights in my time machine blinded me and I could not see her ever again.

Alone yet again, I whispered to Jennifer, knowing that she would never hear this, how grateful and how thankful I am to her. I wanted her to know how much I cherished our friendship. I wanted her to know how much I missed her and how I felt that that there was a huge hole in my heart now, without her. But I could never tell her all these things again, as I would never be seeing her.

Chapter 11: Changing the Future

I arrived back in my backyard in my own time. It was 14^th December 2013 yet again. Miraculously, my time machine had not caught fire like what it did the last time when I landed in the…. I was too heartbroken to think about my time in the future.

My mind was filled with happy memories with Jennifer, but I could not help but smile at the lush greenery now. The tall trees, the pretty and vibrantly coloured flowers. And all the animals… the birds flying high in the cerulean blue sky were sights that people in the future world just know about in history books.

I got back into my house and displayed the invisibility device. It was shaped like a ball. Just a push of a button and I could turn invisible immediately. Aidan licked my face the moment I got into the house. I felt immensely ecstatic being reunited with my precious dog. I petted him and played “fetch” with him. I even told him about my adventure in the future, even though I knew that he would not understand what I was talking about. That gave me inspiration for my next invention. I could create a device that could enable humans to talk to animals! Maybe humans can then communicate with animals and learn about their problems. Just like that, humans could finally understand animals and stop destroying their homes and poaching. Before long, animals will stop getting killed and they would not get extinct. People in the future would be able to admire the adorable animals we once admired and loved.

I took immediate action. I created a long speech on how I had invented a time machine and travelled to the future. Everyone believed me, seeing that I had brought back a device that could make you invisible, from the future. 

I told the world about my friend, Jennifer, who told me that the world was going to die and that she wanted me to tell everyone to stop polluting the world and destroying everything. If every single person in the world really played a small part and helped to save the world, there was a chance that the world could be saved.

I could not let Jennifer down. There was even a law imposed that everyone had to play at least one small part to save the earth. Hopefully, the future of this earth would be changed and the generations after us would be able to enjoy the same earth that we had once lived on.

~ The End ~